Combat medic Karma's ordeal in Luhansk, 3 years in captivity, and persevering as a woman in the Ukrainian army

"My child remembers how some men took my mother from home," says Karma, a combat medic with the 56th Separate Mechanized Brigade.

In 2014, when the militants occupied Luhansk, she and her child fled to the government-controlled territory. And when she returned to Luhansk in 2016 to visit her parents for a few days, she was captured.

In a conversation with a soldier and host of hromadske Serhiy Hnezdilov, Karma shared what the occupiers accused her of, what was the worst thing about being in captivity, how the exchange went, why she decided to join the Ukrainian Armed Forces, and what is the most difficult thing for a woman in the army.

On Luhansk

The first pro-Ukrainian rallies in support of Euromaidan in Luhansk began in November 2013. At first, there were few people, but later more and more civilians joined these meetings.

In March 2014, the first clashes on political grounds began. The opponents were very active in preventing any gatherings of civilians, although at that time, the security forces were still formally operating in the city.

March 9 and 11 stood out. Those were pro-Ukrainian rallies dedicated to the anniversary of Taras Shevchenko's birth and death. One of these rallies, where there were pregnant women, people of retirement age, and children, was simply attacked by a group of pro-Russian elements.

It was immediately apparent that there were a lot of people there who had been brought in from the border areas of Russia, from Rostov Oblast. This was evident in their speech and behavior. It was very noticeable to the locals.

At first, we hoped that somehow everything would be resolved. But when the Anti-Terrorist Operation was announced, the tension in the city increased. There were restrictions for civilians to move around the city, and all men were inspected closely. A lot of people in military uniforms appeared, and again, they were not local.

When the SBU security service building was seized in the city center, it became clear that nothing good would come of it. It was around mid-April. The first active hostilities took place on June 2, 2014. The city center was shelled, and people were injured. It was the active beginning of a certain end for the city.

On leaving Luhansk and checkpoints

In the middle of July 2014, the city was already under heavy shelling. Shells were flying both from the temporarily occupied territory of Luhansk Oblast and from the border area.

People tried to leave, but again, there were huge lines at the checkpoints. The checkpoints were mostly manned by local men who supported the Russian side. Some for money, some for some vague idea, and some just because their neighbor had already joined. They were looking at everything, just everything you can look at in people. They took belongings, some took documents. Men could no longer move out at that time.

I left the city around August 15. The way to leave was through Stanytsia Luhanska. My daughter was one month old at the time. She and I came under fire there. The shelling was already coming from the occupied Luhansk itself, from the border area, from Russia. It was easy to understand where the Grad [rockets] were coming from, even for people who had nothing to do with the military.

The first checkpoint took about three hours to pass. Bear in mind that they saw that I was with a small child, and I had one tiny bag with only children's things. They rummaged through everything. We were lucky that we were able to leave there at all.

When we got to Shchastia, which is where the first Ukrainian checkpoint was. The attitude was very different. The guys helped us get through earlier, checked our documents, and gave us some goodies. Of course, the difference was very small, but still. And this difference caught the eye of many people leaving the occupied territory.

For some time, I lived and studied in Sievierodonetsk. We spent almost a year and a half there. It was hard at first because we had to rent a place, I had a small child and was studying at the same time, whilst trying to find some kind of job.

The locals in Sievierodonetsk did not treat IDPs very well. There were terribly high housing prices. People saw the registration in the passport and started saying: we will not rent to you. Our history is cyclical, but unfortunately, not everyone remembers this.

How Karma was arrested

In 2016, I was supposed to have a fall exam period and had some free time. I went to my parents' place with my daughter, because my family still remains in the occupied territory. I came home, maybe we stayed at my parents’ for five days.

One day, I went to visit my grandmother as we lived nearby. At 5 p.m., the house door was just broken down, people in camouflage uniforms burst in and said: "You are detained because you were talking to the guys from the ultras movement."

It was the movement of the Luhansk club Zorya. About a month before I arrived, the guys from the movement were detained by the locals. And the militants were looking through their contacts, their social media pages. If we had known earlier that the guys had been detained, I would not have gone there. But there was no information. And it just happened that I arrived at the wrong time.

I am glad that at least the child (at that time she was 2 years and 5 months old) was left at home with my parents. I was brought to the police station. Interrogations began, and even local "high-ranking officials" came because they had caught a "spy." A 21-year-old girl vs the two so-called “republics” who were scared because it was a threat to their security.

The pre-trial process, when they tried to bring some charges against me, lasted about 11 months. Everything was done according to all their methods, as they like: basements, interrogations, and methods of psychological and physical pressure.

The hardest part was that you didn't understand what was happening to your family, what was happening to your child, and what was going to happen next. Because almost every day started with the message that "if you don't talk to us, if you don't conform, you may not see your family again."

On the kangaroo court and her daughter

I was in captivity for 3 years and 2 months. According to their local documents, it was half as long, because they really didn't want to confirm that I was just there somewhere.

Several times there were some court hearings where they tried to sentence me on the charges they had made up. They wrote that I had an article on 'treason'. It was a theater of the absurd with their trial.

One day I caught myself thinking that I didn't care what happened next. Then we talked to the guys and girls who had also been captured. Almost everyone has this feeling, and this stage is really the most dangerous.

If you realize that people are waiting for you at home, it is much easier to go through even the most difficult situations. But when your family is in terror, and you don't understand what is happening to your family, you don't understand what will happen to you, not just tomorrow, but in an hour, it is much more difficult. It is quite difficult, mentally and emotionally. You can endure the physical impact, but the mental impact is much worse.

In fact, I have a child growing up without me, her mother is online only. And the child, despite her young age, remembers everything. She will have such a childhood memory of how some men took her mother from home. This is not normal.

My family and child are not able to leave. The child graduated from kindergarten under occupation and is already in the second grade. We hope that this will end as soon as possible and I will be able to be with my child.

On the exchange

The court sentenced me to 12 years in prison. For a very long time, they frightened me that I would not have the right to exchange: "What Ukraine, no one needs you there". Classic, like with everyone else.

At the end of December 2019, I and several other women who had been imprisoned in similar situations were already in a women's colony. One day, we were told to pack our belongings because we were going to the pre-trial detention center, the place where we were taken from.

We arrived there, and no one told us anything for almost a week. Only the night before they came up and told us to get ready with our belongings because we were going for an exchange.

As practice has shown, if you are told that you will have an exchange, it is not a given that it will happen at all. People could be taken anywhere. But we were lucky that day. Everything went according to plan, there were no screw-ups.

We left Luhansk at 7 a.m. on December 29, 2019, and at about 12 p.m. we were already in Donetsk Oblast, when the exchange took place near Zaytseve. We were transported through the checkpoint with our documents. On the territory controlled by Ukraine, we were met by volunteers, and it was the first time I was able to call my family, and tell them what had happened and that I was in Ukraine.

In the evening, we arrived in Kyiv. The president met us at the airport. We were not forgotten; it was very noticeable from the reaction and attitude of the people who met us. Back then, 86 people were exchanged, if I'm not mistaken.

Then I had rehabilitation, medical examinations, and a sanatorium to more or less put myself in order. I resumed my studies and returned to Sievierodonetsk. Within two months, I graduated and received my diploma. And in July 2020, I decided that I would join the army.

How Luhansk lives today

I keep in touch with my family. I know that local mobilization is intensifying. It is not official, and everything is done rather quietly. But men can't go shopping or go to work as usual. A man who is almost 60 years old and has a disability is stopped when he goes to the nearest store to buy bread, they check his documents and try to force him to get mobilized.

In terms of work, communication, and meeting basic human needs, everything is so minimal that a sane person who is more or less in touch with his or her head and perceives reality will not look at this normally.

In Luhansk in 2014, there was a certain percentage of people who really wanted Russia to come, to return to the USSR, to take a step back into the past. But it was not even half, it was much less. And this was the category that was 40-50+ years old at the time.

About 10 percent were fascinated, surprised, and enthusiastic about the idea of an independent republic, and they believed in it. There was also a certain percentage who didn't care what happened next, no one was bothering them, and they were fine.

But six months passed under shelling, and two years passed without the benefits of civilization. Even in the villages closer to the city, there was no more gas, no more electricity, no more shops that worked. And people began to realize that something had gone wrong.

In the occupied territories, there are still those who supported and continue to support Ukraine. They are waiting for life to get better, as it was 10 years ago, and for everything to fall into place. I would like to tell them not to lose faith. It will not be quick, it will be difficult, and there will be losses on both sides. But Ukraine will return to these territories.

On joining the Armed Forces of Ukraine

I was thinking about the army back in 2014. But I had a small child in my arms – what army, what contract? Then came the captivity. When I came back home to Ukraine, it was a pretty balanced decision.

I was very lucky with the unit I was assigned to. I joined my friends and had some support. Because, whatever one may say, the issue of women in the army is real and will not go away in the next few years. At first, there were some difficult moments, because the guys were used to the idea that war is not a woman's job. It took me a long time and a lot of hard work to prove that I could do it.

It's a little hard for me because I forget about civilian life. We are around each other 24/7 in a military circle. When you're in the army for a long time, you start to react differently to civilians, to civilian life. But it's not too complicated.

"The idea of being closer to home warms my heart"

I do not regret joining the army. I have professional growth, my professional skills are improving. I have become more balanced in my response to external stimuli. If the question of whether to join the army or not arose now, I would go again.

When I joined the army, I was specifically looking for a unit that would not be in the rear, but would go to the war zone in eastern Ukraine. The idea of being closer to home warms my heart.

I am not going to finish with the army. I will continue my military service. I want to grow as a specialist. Now I am a sergeant, and I have gone through all these levels of military ranks, starting from a soldier, in the trenches.

No one in the unit or battalion will say that I have been promoted unfairly. There are not many girls in the battalion, we can be counted on one hand. But the guys see that we work, that we are always with them.

I really want to go home to Luhansk. I am not saying that I will stay there – most likely not. But I just want to go home and stay there for at least an hour.