In memory of Stepan Tarabalka, Ghost of Kyiv who found a way to live forever
Every day, pilot Stepan Tarabalka's mother Nataliia prayed for God's help for her son. She was confident and calm in her sincere trust in the higher powers. But when her son died, her prayers stopped for a year. Then she turned to the Lord again: “Give me an answer through people — why did this happen?”
The answer was not long in coming. A woman approached her in church: “I have to tell you this: respect his choice!”
Then her friend hugged her: “If this hadn't happened, if you hadn't had this experience of loss, you wouldn't have helped so many people, you wouldn't have shared your strength and inspiration.”
With the money allocated by the state after her son's death, Nataliia Tarabalka set up a health center for the military in Prykarpattia.
Today on hromadske we are going to tell you about Stepan Tarabalka, a guy from a distant village who, as his command told his mother, shot down 6 enemy planes on the first day of the great war, and for that he was called the “Ghost of Kyiv”; about his mother, who wants to be worthy of her legendary son; and about her center, which has already received more than a hundred soldiers, but now its doors are closed.
“We will make killers out of your children”
Behind their garden was a giant military airfield. It was said to be the second largest in the USSR. Little Stepan thought that it was so close that he could run over and see the faces of the paratroopers and touch the weightless matter. In fact, the airport was far away, but the boy really saw jumping from helicopters and landing paratroopers. He was fascinated by what he saw — he was dreaming of the sky.
So from a very young age, he was determined to become a pilot. But his mom wanted him to be a musician: he played the trumpet so well! Or at least a military conductor.
The young man graduated from a military sports lyceum and then decided to enter a flight military university in Kharkiv.
Parents also came to the Open House with their children. The teacher, a lieutenant colonel, was conducting a tour when he turned sharply to the adults and said: “They will be flying fighter jets, following orders, shooting. Do you realize that we will make killers out of your children? Are you sure you want this? Half of my peers are no longer alive.”
Stepan was not afraid of the lieutenant colonel's words. But they had a serious impact on others: half as many applicants came to the entrance exams. However, there were still a lot of them, most of them accompanied by respectable military fathers with shoulder straps.
Nataliia Tarabalka and another mother, also from the village, were sitting on a bench with prayer books: they did not believe that their sons would be able to enter a prestigious university so easily. Without money or connections. The competition is fierce, the requirements are serious — both in terms of sports training and health. God forbid, a tooth is not filled! The surgeon leveled Stepan’s nasal septum, which is important for the vestibular system…
By that time, Stepan's mother had already made sure that she would not dissuade him from his dream. This is not a childish whim — it is the decision of a grown man. In response to her objections, he either remained silent for three days or calmly and confidently stated: “If you don't let me, I'll go to the army, and from there I'll enter the university on my own, but I will do it.”
“It was hard to let him go, but I realized that if I didn't support him, I could lose our trusting relationship,” sherecalls.
Stepan was admitted. “Lucky guy,” his sister Yulia laughed.
And his mother, analyzing where her son's determination, maturity, and awareness came from, thought that he had been living like a military man since the seventh grade — an iron discipline.
He got married at 20
Stepan was still a student when he decided to get married. He called his mother: “I'm bringing a girl home.”
The woman reasoned that dating a girl was already good. It's better than drinking with guys. But why rush, he still had a year and a half to study. Her son insisted:“We have to.”
“Well, if he takes a girl across the country, it's not just for me to meet her. I have a daughter, and I wouldn't want her relationship to turn out to be not serious after she met someone’s parents,” Nataliia recalls.
His parents even renovated the house: after all, he was bringing a girl! Olena turned out to be from Kharkiv. She did not understand the Galician dialect, so she asked Stepan to translate. She also looked very scared. A year later, she confessed to her mother-in-law: when her circle of friends found out that she was going to the west of the country, they warned her: “Banderites will stab you, they will kill you there.”
After visiting his parents, the son called: “We are getting ready for the wedding. Mom, you're going to be a grandmother!” That's what it was about!
“Stop. Let's take a break,” hismother suggested.
“No, we need a wedding! Now!” theson did not back down.
The Tarabalkas were prepared in less than a month. They traveled to Kharkiv, met the bride’s family, and prepared everything at home — Nataliia, her mother, and daughter embroidered the towels at night. All the newlyweds had to do was come and celebrate.
Soon after, Yaroslav was born. He is now 10 years old.
“Here is to those who die for us”
According to Nataliia Tarabalka, Ukraine's military leadership understood the inevitability of war. The guys were allowed to fly: Stepan and his classmates had almost as many flights during their studies as their teachers had in their entire lives. And the pilot course was expanded from 12 to 25 students. They began to restore military airfields.
When the woman later spoke to her son's class teacher, he said that Russia was also preparing: they were recruiting more young people for the In the USSR and later in Russia, a special military educational institution for adolescents that combines school curriculum and military training.Suvorov School.
Stepan Tarabalka graduated in 2014 when Russia annexed Crimea and started the war in Donbas. The military pilot immediately began performing air support missions for the forces in the east of the country.
In 2016, Stepan already had the rank of major, and his family joked that he was progressing so well that he would soon become the Minister of Defense.
After her son's marriage, Nataliia and her husband went to work in Portugal: they had to pay off debts for the wedding, treat their cancer-stricken relatives, and help a young family.
She knew little about Stepan's service; they saw each other once a month. The young A fourth-generation Soviet multi-role fighter aircraft, the main specialized aircraft of the Ukrainian Air Force.MiG-29 pilot said that he was just hanging around on duty, playing tennis or watching TV. In reality, he was sitting in the plane in full combat readiness.
Before the coronavirus epidemic, he was supposed to go to Europe to master F-16s, and the guys were already being sent to English courses. But the pandemic and then the great war disrupted the plans.
Before that, the whole family had celebrated the New Year together. Stepan sat there, his mind wandering elsewhere. Then he made a toast with a lump in his throat: “Here is to those who die for us.” Two guys from his unit had already been killed.
After that, the mother managed to see her son only once, and then it was February 24, 2022. The next day, the woman was in Ukraine, because her child was here, her daughter-in-law and grandson were here, and her mother was here, who had a stroke because she was concerned for Stepan, her beloved grandson, on the very first day of the full-scale invasion.
Nataliia was traveling from Spain in a van loaded with volunteer aid. At the border, people looked at her as if she were a stranger: huge lines in one direction, and she was heading in the other.
“He was not one of the first, he was the first”
Stepan Tarabalka, 29, was killed in action on March 13, 2022, over the Zhytomyr region. Natalia couldn't understand why suddenly he ended up in the 40th Tactical Aviation Brigade of the Air Force, which defended the sky of the capital, instead of his Ivano-Frankivsk unit. When she finally made up her mind, she asked his commander.
“He presented himself to the unit himself. He wanted to go there. He was eager to fight.”
And his fellows said:“He was not one of the first, he was the first.”
The instructor noted:“Some of the guys were openly afraid. But he flew day and night. He shot down six planes on the first day!”
“I realized that I did not fully know my child's dream. He told his wife that he would find a way to live forever. And she would see what it was,” thewoman sighs. She sniffles.
The pilot also told Olena that in case of an emergency, he does not want to die in a wheelchair, so his wife should be prepared to live alone.
The Times called Stepan Tarabalka the Ghost of Kyiv and said that the ace had shot down 40 enemy aircraft.
The Air Force Command of the Ukrainian Armed Forces has officially stated that the Ghost of Kyiv is a superhero created by Ukrainians. In fact, the Ghost of Kyiv is a collective image of the pilots of the 40th Brigade, “who protect the sky of the capital and suddenly appear where they are not expected.”
“But he was awarded the Hero of Ukraine. They don't just give you this title,” Nataliia reflected a lot after Stepan's death. The scale of her son's personality was revealed to her. “In some ways, he was older than me: he was strong, psychologically ready to fly ‘one way’. He knew that our situation was bad — the sights were not good, there was nothing to shoot with. He was assessing the consequences, but he took to the skies anyway. Everything was based on the heroism of our boys. For a true fighter pilot, dying in combat is the highest honor.”
“Let your son go, his journey is over”
One of the psychologists that Nataliia was advised by good people said: “You should be proud of your son.”
“How can you be proud of a dead body?” she shut such specialists out. She was not ready yet. She lived, not allowing herself to come unglued.
His father could not bear the grief either: he would get drunk and fall asleep at the cemetery in his native Korolivka, Kolomyia district, where Stepan was buried. Nataliia sent him to Portugal, where their married daughter lives. She had to be strong for all four of them.
She also calmed her mother after her third stroke: “We did not see the body. Stepan was brought in a closed coffin. He did not die — he is performing some task, maybe he is training on an F-16.”
And when she and her daughter-in-law were invited to Kyiv in December to receive the The order awarded to the Hero of Ukraine (or his/her family if the award was posthumously granted)Golden Star she believed that her son would come out from behind Valerii Zaluzhnyi and explain everything: “I'm alive, Mom, it was necessary.”
Before the meeting, another specialist pulled her sleeve. He talked to Nataliia for hours. He urged her to live in reality, but she resisted. Then he said:“Let your son go, his journey is over. He has done everything he was meant to do: for the family, for you, for the country. He needs to move on, and you are not letting him.”
And after the conversation, Nataliia realized something in her mind. She went to the celebrations with the president and the commander-in-chief, realizing that her son would not come out from behind the general.
At home, the woman asked:“Stepan, give me a sign.” And so, on the eve of his 30th birthday, she dreamed about him. He stood up and hugged her tightly. “You are here, son, and they say you are gone,” shecried.
Then he came to his father in a dream: “Dad, I'm at an altitude of four thousand meters. Can you see me? — Wait, I'll put on my glasses. I can see you now.” In the dream, Stepan waved his hand.
His mother also had a dream where her boy was flying between the stars. Stepan Tarabalka achieved his goal: he became someone in worlds that are invisible and unknown to us. Someone who can live forever.
Warmth of the Winged Soul Center
Birch trees, a manor house, a pond behind the old park. Now it is windy and frosty here, but in summer it is a paradise. When Nataliia saw this place and heard the birds singing, she was hooked. It was a few years ago. Stepan was still alive.
Back then, she dreamed of a center for the military and their families, who wanted to “have their own place” where everyone understood each other. Where they heal the soul, and the name does not contain the words “rehabilitation” and “psychology”. They named the health center “Warmth of the Winged Soul”. She wanted to create a family atmosphere rather than a hospital one: a pond, tennis, checkers, chess, and a smoke break. The procedures are not obligatory. And most importantly: there is sincere communication.
She took it up with all her might after her son's death so that she wouldn't lie in bed for days on end. The building, a former hospital, was in disrepair. Nataliia and the volunteers cut down, mowed, cleaned, and asked for permission to rent the building and the fish pond. All this paperwork is still going on. The woman expected the local authorities to get involved and help solve the issues with water, sewage, heating, and the old boiler room. But no… 50 thousand hryvnias were given by the local community, and the Kolomyia City Council keeps promising to give 500 thousand.
For foreign charitable organizations that have learned her story, it is incomprehensible that the authorities do not help, and the military wash from a washbasin with a bucket of water hanging over it. Because of this, the center received the guys in warm weather and on an outpatient basis: they came from the unit, had massages and other procedures, talked, ate, and fished. But there was no way to spend the night there. In winter, the center is closed.
But the conditions are gradually changing. Starting this spring, the center plans to accept fighters on a full-time basis.
A woman shows the renovated rooms. There are several wards with beds, a modern gym, a room for massages, and psychologist sessions. Each room has an icon. It's cold here, the last time the room was heated was a few days ago, so Nataliia turned on the heater.
She says that volunteers help a lot: they bring exercise equipment, towels, bedding, and even paintings. There is a portrait of her son on the shelf next to books and a loaf of bread.
“I want to be a worthy mother to my son”
Streets in Kolomyia, Yahotyn, Kyiv region, and in his native village of Korolivka are named after Stepan Tarabalka. Part of the payments she received as the mother of the fallen hero, she gave to the military to buy vehicles for the front, and part was spent on the Center. She also bought two apartments for herself to rent out and live on.
She is sometimes asked what she will get from the Center because it is not economically viable.
Nataliia makes a long pause: “I live for this.” And it's true. Our entire conversation is about Stepan and the Warmth of a Winged Soul. Memories are only about her son, and the Center is about the present and the future. “There will be a gym, there will be a gazebo.” She answers the phone and directs the builders: when to come and what to do.
Her priest friend is surprised: “How do you have so much optimism? How do you imagine all that you have planned?”
“Nothing is impossible with the Lord,” thewoman replies. “Man sets a goal, but God likes the process. Sometimes it seems to me that there is some kind of test by higher powers. Like, let's see how they will do it! Oh, they did it! Well, then let's throw this up!”
She says she has come a long way in her spiritual rebirth and values change.
“After almost two years, I realized that this was not a dream, not a TV series, that it would not be like it was. And if you believe in eternal life, you must live here, not just exist. It is to live and create a nation worthy of its heroes.
The way the military people are perceived in society is not their problem. We need to change for them — to create conditions so that the guys realize when they return that something is being done for them. This is a signal that they are respected and thanked. I want to be a worthy mother to my son,” says Nataliia Tarabalka.
Her Facebook page has a laconic slogan: “A dream is worth a lifetime.” She is talking about her son.
But also about myself.