Call sign Monashka: icon painter, paramedic, mother of six and daughter of a woman who waited for Putin to come

We meet in Mykolaiv. Between rotations, the volunteer paramedic returns to her hometown, where she works for an international charity. A petite woman comes out of the office to meet me – as if from the cover of a glossy magazine: hair, makeup, dress, heels. Later she explains that she needs this for balance. Because tomorrow, the feminine dress with a cutout on the back will be replaced by tactical clothing.

"One day I realized that all my designer clothes were just hanging. I thought to myself: no, I will not lose a part of myself because of these bastards (Russians - ed). So there I am a paramedic and a warrior. And here I am a woman. Light and cheerful," Yevheniya says, smiling. With the same smile, she later assures that she is ready to die for Ukraine. If only it was not in vain.

What is behind the call sign Monashka (“Monkess”)? How did most of her family members end up at the front while "mom was waiting for Putin"? How did the war take away inspiration and loved ones, but lead to new life goals? Our article presents Yevheniya Kim's story.

"It felt like we were all going to die"

The inspiration to paint disappeared with the first strikes by Soviet multiple launch rocket systemGrads. The house was shaking, and the debris smashed the car. She had never run so fast from the second floor to the first. She and her daughter hid under a blanket. They were paralyzed by fear.

But not for long. The woman pulled herself together. She did not expect herself to respond to the persistent calls to "Leave!" with a flat answer: "No. I'm not going anywhere." She sent her 17-year-old daughter abroad and stayed behind to help civilians. Her icon workshop quickly turned into a volunteer hub.

"At first, I was engaged in the evacuation of people. First of all, women with children. I had a feeling that we were all going to die – we were being pounded so much. No one expected this," the volunteer recalls.

The story of evacuating people, which began with one request to pick up a child and a cat, grew to include hundreds of people every day.

It was very difficult: we had nothing, no one could find the mayor for three weeks. There was only one exit in Mykolaiv – across the drawbridge. We arranged for it to be lowered – to let our buses with people pass – and raised again.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

"I will never forget when the big buses arrived. A man got out of one of them, smiling, Uncle Tolya. As it turned out, he was a local councilor. I walked up to him, nuzzled my face against him – and burst into tears. Because it was now not 50 or 100, but 300-400 people a day."

In the first weeks of the full-scale war, she was captured by French and American reporters as an organizer of the evacuation of Mykolaiv residents. Then one of her friends sent her a video, and it turned out that she was already wanted in Russia. She was accused of "transporting human shields" allegedly for Azov and Aidar.

"I'm bringing socks for my brother. Don't even think about stopping me!"

Her younger brother Petro, who had previously served in the Anti-Terrorist Operation, was the first to go to the front. So the next day after the invasion, he was lacing up his boots, and two weeks later he was standing in the Kyiv sector of the front. There, he found service and relayed that they needed helmets, a thermal imager, and some other things.

"I gathered it all. Only when I arrived did I realize where I was going – through Zhytomyr Oblast. At the same time, the Russians were fusillading cars there. And I thought, ‘No matter what, I'll deliver the socks to my brother. At least we could hug each other one last time, and it would be fine’. When they came up to me and asked why I had come here, I said: ‘I'm bringing socks for my brother. Don't even think about stopping me!’" Yevheniya recalls.

In fact, this is how her story of volunteering for the military began. Later, she focused solely on the soldiers. She stopped helping civilians when Kherson was liberated. Her personal tragedy happened during the occupation of the city.

"Someone turned in 10 volunteers. Young girls and boys who remained in the occupation and turned to me for help with medicines. We had an evacuation program there – we gave them medicines a little bit, and they delivered them to the elderly. In a few months, one disappeared, then the second, the third... One of the old ladies turned them in. One by one, they took our people to the basements. Five of them managed to leave. There is still no news about the rest. Although I have called all the possible services," Yevheniya recalls with pain and anger.

Eyewitnesses told me that at night, those basements stank of fried flesh and burnt tires. They interrogated people... and then burned them. I heard that the animal that guarded that basement was one of the locals. I would really like him to be given to me. I would really like to know what happened to those kids.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

Yevheniya changed her career due to another bereavement. Yevheniya joined the evacuation of the wounded on the battlefield when her friend died in Lysychansk. He was wounded during an assault. But they could not bring him to the stabilization point. He bled to death.

"It was a trauma for me. I realized that my brother would be left somewhere like that. And then another friend, and then another. That day I was going to get drunk and cry. At that moment, the head of a Swiss foundation came to me and said she wanted me to work with them. At first, I said: ‘Get off me’. Then, coming to my senses, I asked: ‘Do you have any ambulances?’"

"We can take both KIA and WIA in one vehicle"

Now Yevheniya is standing next to one of the evacuation vehicles, which she will drive to the front tomorrow. In a year and a half, she has managed to bring more than 40 such vehicles.

"These are for seriously wounded. Now we are converting it into an ambulance. It's a Volvo, it's very fast and holds the road well. It can easily reach 160-180 kilometers per hour. Maybe even 210. It's very good," the paramedic says with pleasure.

Her unit is now on the Siversk axis, covering Lyman. She is registered as a volunteer paramedic with a Volunteer formation of a territorial community (VFTC) is a paramilitary unit in Ukraine formed on a voluntary basis from Ukrainian citizens residing within the territory of the respective municipality, which is intended to participate in the preparation and implementation of territorial defense tasks.VFTC, so she does not receive a salary. However, she can return home after a week-long shift.

Not everyone can withstand what she sees. But the main thing, she says, is to distance herself emotionally. It took her a while to do so.

On the first trips, when we didn't deliver someone in time, I used to get out of the vehicle in hysterics. I was walking. I didn't care about the drones anymore. I didn't realize what I was doing, what was happening to me. The driver jumped out after me... And then in the dugout he said: ‘Because of this behavior, both of us would be dead now. So think about what you're doing’.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

Since then, Yevheniya has gotten used to such incidents. "Now you pull yourself together. You talk to them, you see the injury, you realize that he will not survive, and you can't do anything about it... If he gets delirious, calls for his mother or something, you just try to talk: ‘Yes, son, I'm here, I'm holding you, everything will be fine. I love you, son’," the soldier says.

"When I'm at the front, I can't turn on emotions. Because this is death. If I let it all go through me, I will last for three days. So it's a job, and that's it. The only rule is that if I am asked to go to the area where my friends are, I will not go there. Because it's personal, and that would be the end of me there."

Nowadays, Yevheniya says, evacuations from the "front line" have decreased. Due to the heavy shelling and drones, they have to work further away from the contact line.

"It's such hell there now that it's indescribable. That's why we are working from the stabilization point or somewhere on the approach, depending on the axis. And the military who are there deliver them to the stabilization point. They radio in and say that we have WIA or KIA. We can take both WIA and KIA in one vehicle."

"I am not sure I will return to painting. And whether I will survive at all"

"When I was a little girl, my grandmother had an icon of St. Nicholas and a candle in the corner. And for some reason, it felt so cozy. I liked to climb on the bed, look at that candle, and fall asleep..."

Recreating the picture of her childhood, Yevheniya's voice changed: it became quieter, kinder, and warmer. Although she is already in full combat readiness. She is going to the front. Amid the foundation's warehouse clutter, she carefully takes something valuable out of a wooden box – her own icon of St. Nicholas. It seems to be an old one, gilded, in the Byzantine style.

This is a joint work with her brother: Zhenia painted, and Petro worked on the wood. He is a tanker now, but before the war he was a carpenter. They worked on the icon for six months. Although it is still not finished.

"When I came up with the idea for this icon, I wanted it to be part of the 'Cozy as Home' series. It was like our grandmothers' houses when we were children, and everything was a miracle, so fabulous and mysterious. We made it specifically for this series," says Yevheniya, holding her treasure.

She estimates this work at several thousand dollars, although she adds that she does not sell any of her handmade pieces. When she had her own production, copies of her original icons were made on special printers. Then the price was more affordable for the public.

Now her business is closed and she has no entrepreneurial plans. "My shooting instructor once asked me what I would do after the war. That's when I realized that I had no plans for the future. I learned to live in the present."

I am not sure that I will ever return to painting. First of all, if I survive at all, but I have no inspiration—I can't help it. It's like an old lady whispered to me. It's like a picture is spinning in my head, and when I come to the paint, I sigh and leave.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

For a religious scholar by training, the inspiration to paint came as suddenly as it left. Although her mother used to say that she was "ham-fisted." After Yevheniya overcame cancer, she tried to recreate an icon – for reasons unknown to her. Then everything seemed to be in a fog: patina, gilding, craquelure, paints... Before she knew it, she was painting on everything. Later, her spiritual director would say: "God let you live because you can be of value to humanity."

I told my mom: "I will turn you in to the SBU"

Yevheniya says that 80% of her family is at the front: her brother, two sons, her ex-husband and his brother and wife. Her husband and brother returned from abroad for this.

Listening to her talk about her two other adult sons, who are now in Poland and are also rushing to return to Ukraine, I get confused. I carefully ask about their ages. Yevheniya is 41, but then she stuns me: "Besides my son, I have five other foster children." She adds jokingly: "It's not me who's cool. It was my bad marriage...".

13 years ago, her husband's father, a priest who ran an orphanage for five children, died. They were already in their teens. She could not help but take them. "My mother worked for 20 years in an orphanage. I know what they do to children from homes. So I didn't want them to have that fate."

She and her mother, however, did not get along well. While her daughter was evacuating people under fire and her son was in the first ranks of volunteers, she was waiting for Putin.

I told my mom: ‘I'll turn you in to the SBU’. For her, my brother and I were ‘Banderites’. And I answered her: ‘The only thing that saves you is that you are 65 years old. Since I'm supporting you, I can't and won't push you out.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

Her mom died this year. Before she died, she repented. She apologized to her daughter. But not to Ukraine.

A monks in love with Donbas

"I need pouches, strap cutters, thermal blankets for paramedics, bandages. Give me two boxes... Zhora, don't be a cheapskate," Zhenia catches her colleague's eye as she collects everything she needs at the charity's warehouse.

"Ooooh, what a great belt bag! The Marines would stop a grinding machine with their teeth for them! They start crying when they see them," she laughs.

You can see that she is clearly in a good mood. She says it's because she's returning "home".

"I got up before everyone else today. I want to go home! It's our home there. We all have withdrawals when we come here. Because you really get high there..."

When did you last eat thick meat soup with vegetables and paprikabohrach on a campfire? When did you last play cards with the guys in a dugout? When did you last laugh like that? Yes, it's not about performing at an iconography exhibition in Italy anymore. This is different. But this is a life I can't do without.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

Her brothers-in-arms in the infantry gave her the call sign Monashka (“Monkess”). She does not start a relationship with anyone. She admits that she simply does not have time for it. "They call me a monkess who took a vow not to marry until the war is over and her people are free," says Zhenia.

For her, Donbas has become more than home. She never had any sentimental attachment to this region before, but now she cherishes it with all her heart.

No matter what happens next, I am sure of one thing: for humanity, we will forever carry the concept of freedom. That it is worth everything. It is not for nothing that we have the motto ‘Freedom above all’. Because without it, everything else simply makes no sense. You know how they say: ‘Perhaps we will lie down in this land’, I don't mind. If so, let it be Donbas. As long as we stay there, in our own land.Yevheniya Kim, volunteer and paramedic

"Now I just adore Donbas. These are fields. They are endless. These are very, very bright sunsets. When you drive, it seems that this whole planet is spreading out... I have seen oceans, I have seen a lot of things in my travels. But it was Donbas that became not just my home... The land there was full of freedom. There we found friends, there we found support, and there we are all united by a single mission."