“Fighters say it's easy for them, and people think why should they help” — Runa

“For me, the main thing is that if I die, God forbid, it should be abrupt.  Torn off arms, legs, meat — I don't want to see those things,” says Runa. The girl has been serving for 6 years, all the time on the line. She shares her army everyday life on Instagram and TikTok.

How did she join the army? What does she do in the brigade? What did she cry about? What do her fellow soldiers' wives text her about? Why does she write her blog, what are the stupidest questions civilians have asked her, and which celebrities have not responded to her requests for help? What annoys her in the army? And whom does she despise?

Runa, a soldier of the 56th Brigade, told about this and other things to Serhii Hnezdilov, a soldier and host of hromadske, in the ++ podcast.

About how she decided to join the army

I joined the army in 2018. I can't say that it was a childhood dream. Not at all. But since the ninth grade I wanted to join the Armed Forces. We had a subject called “Defense of the Motherland”, we went to the training ground, and while all the girls were getting medical training, I was going through an obstacle course with the guys and shooting from a real assault rifle. That's when I had my heart set on and realized that it was mine. And when I turned 19 — I was still studying when I was 18 — I went to the military registration and enlistment office.

I went to the training center, got the specialty, the crash course, and then I was assigned to the 56th Brigade, the 23rd Battalion. And I am still here, now I am a chief sergeant, a unit leader of an antiaircraft artillery platoon.

About the outbreak of a full-scale war

The rotation began on February 15, 2022. We were on standby. At that time, I was on duty with my unit at one of the firing positions where we had been on duty two days before February 24.

I remember the morning of February 24: we were sitting on the ZU-23-2 gun emplacement, on duty, and at four o'clock in the morning everything started to buzz. Then we realized that a full-scale war had begun.

The Donetsk direction has been in the combat zone since 2014, our positions were fortified, and we thought that the enemy would come from this direction. We were preparing like crazy, but such battles began in the spring.

About whether it's hard to be in the army

It was easy for me in the army from the very beginning, because I came from a boarding school. I studied in Smila for 10 years. We always had a daily schedule, so I was independent from childhood because we were taught to be. Therefore, when I joined the army, it was essentially the same as at school. It was just that there was a predominantly male team.

At first, it was hard to prove that I was strong, that I could clean machine guns that weighed 70 kg on par with the guys. I just did what I wanted to do, and the guys saw that I was interested in it and did not interfere.

I feel more comfortable with guys on the team than with girls. When the morning starts, there are a lot of hair dryers, some are doing their makeup, some are doing something else, and you wake up to the noise. It was always easier for me with the guys. And I don't have any special problems in everyday life and at work.

About the loss of brothers and sisters-in-arms

There is not much time to mourn each fallen brother-in-arms or friend. I went to the funeral of our sister-in-arms Oksana. It was my first funeral for a fallen brother or sister-in-arms. It was very hard, I cried a lot. When I returned, I said that I would not go to any more funerals.

When we have some thoughts that we want to share, we discuss them among ourselves. I don't call home and bother my sister because she has a little child. It's easier for me to talk to my fellows than to call someone from the civilian world because they don't always understand what's going on here.

As soon as the full-scale war began, we lost sleep. Sometimes we did not sleep for two or three days and did not take off our shoes at all. We evacuated a lot of wounded, especially when we were in Pisky. We had an evacuation bus, and we took out 10-11 people, with wounds of any severity.

Of course, it's all a burden, but then you arrive at the position and load yourself with work. And these thoughts only come out later, when you have a free minute.

About civilians

In the summer, I was in a hospital in Kremenchuk with kidney problems. When we arrived, the doctors said: “We did not think that people are killed there, that there are people with no arms, no legs”. The people were brought to them, and they were shocked. In parting, they said: “We don't want any people to be brought here anymore”.

It is a pity that not all civilians realize that there is a war going on. If you look at the regions that are farther away from here, people have a completely different life there. When the missiles started hitting all the cities, people moved around, some moved in with others, so everyone was united. Now everyone has relaxed, and there is much less support.

People need to be shown more stories like this, that the war is still going on. Another big problem is that there are many military men who, when they go to civilization, devalue their work. They say: “It's easy for us over there, we're crushing these f*ckers, we have no losses.” And people think: “So why should we help them then — they are doing well, they have everything.”

On Instagram, I see a lot of stories where the military say that everything is great, but in fact, not everything is great — we have a lot of losses, a lot. And we cannot and will not hide this.

About the need for replacement

I am in favor of some kind of replacement, at least partially, because there are not enough people now, especially in the infantry. In fact, I don't know how to encourage men. There are so many big boars walking around, and they are not interested in what is happening there. I understand that everyone has children and families at home, but the soldiers also have families and children, and they also want to go home for a holiday.

I've been serving for six years now, and I've been in positions for the entire time. Last year I had a four-day vacation. On December 30, I got a call to go back on December 31, and I was going back to the position at three o'clock in the morning, that is, on New Year's morning.

I feel not offended but a bit sad when I hear and see that many people refuse to go, they just don't want to.

I do not condemn only those men who are more useful in the rear, who search for and bring vehicles, a lot of volunteer help comes from them. All the others are those who hide, those who travel to villages where the military registration office cannot find them. I despise them.

About her unit

For six years, I have become accustomed to this unit. We spend most of our time with each other, not with our families, as it should be. Some soldiers are discharged, others are transferred, but some have been with me from the very beginning. And these are the people with whom you can talk about everything, when you feel bad and when you feel good. We have a platoon budget, and we give gifts to everyone on their birthdays.

I always miss someone when they transfer or leave us. We still call each other afterwards. These people are closer than a family, simply because they understand you, and support you at any time, and if you get wounded, God forbid, they will cover you, carry you out, take you out.

About the only time she cried on duty

One day one of my comrades was wounded, they brought him to the position in the evening and said: “Vika, calm him down”. I went into the pit — we lived in pits back then — and he was sitting there crying: “I don't want to die, I don't want to be disabled”. I started to reassure him that we chose this, that it happened because of the war, and that we should take it easier because it is our job. I told him that the next day he would be taken to the rear, and he would be dealing with documents — he was good at it before.

In the morning, they started shelling with Grad MLRS, and one of the shells hit his pit. As soon as the shelling ended, he was brought to me — his head was hit, and he had five holes in it. He was wearing lenses — they were stuck to his eyes, and he had a body burn from the temperature after the hit. I was shaking his head, and he kept saying: “Help”. Thank God, he survived.

It was the only time during the entire service when I cried. I returned to my position, got into the pit, sat down, leaned against the table, and just cried. Then I heard silence. I turned around and the guys were looking at me, and I thought to myself: “Vika, get yourself together because if you're down, it's over”.

About bureaucracy in the army

What irritates me the most is that there are so many spokes in in the wheels in our internal system: all these journals, inspection books, certificates, etc. that are not needed at all.

If a weapon is sent for repair, it takes a long time to get it back. Somewhere there is a single letter wrong, and all the certificates are returned. And instead of having the equipment in my possession and operating, it just stays there, ready and made. Everything rests on documents, and this slows down the whole process.

There are so many spokes in the wheels that we will not win the war with this. We need to simplify all these processes at least for the duration of a full-scale war.

About love during the war

During the full-scale invasion, the number of marriages increased. But very often it is also a hindrance. God forbid you lose each other. Then you can say that you have lost two because the other person will not be able to withstand it emotionally if it were true love.

I can't invest in both. I want to do one thing and do it well. Right now, my service is at the forefront of my mind. I have a university degree and graduated from the military department, so I'm about to get a junior lieutenant. I don't know if I will have to leave the unit or not, but, of course, I would not like to.

About TikTok and fundraising

I have an increased number of subscribers now, but it's all for the sake of benefit. My entire blog is military, I don't have anything civilian on it because I'm constantly on duty. I show there the conditions in which I live, our combat trips, and my Rottweiler Shonik.

I had to raise money for mobile anti-drone units. I was thinking about how to manage it all because the support from the rear had become very weak. In the evening, I just opened Instagram and sent a text to our bloggers and pop stars about what we were collecting, asking them to spread the word.

A lot of people refused, and it's sad when you just ask for sharing. Some read it, and that was it: Ania Trincher, Voloshyn…

I was pleased when Zhenia Kot agreed, shared it, presented it very nicely, and told people about it. Andrii Khlyvniuk, the leader of the Boombox band — we are still in touch — recently texted me: “Vika, what do you need for the battalion, what can you put on the balance sheet?”

I am very pleased to have the support of such people, who are not afraid to share and at least help in this way.

I closed the fundraiser in a little over a month. We have already purchased anti-drones and covered our part of the front. They are actually very effective — there hasn't been a single hit of FPV drones at our positions since these anti-drones were installed.

About stupid questions

Someday, I will probably make a separate video “10 Dumbest Questions”. The stupidest question from the beginning of my service: “Do the boys bother you?”, then: “Where do you bathe, why are you so clean?”. I always say that I'm not in the infantry, I'm in the artillery, so we have time to make the field shower from the boards. Then they ask me stupid questions like “How did your mom let you go to war?”, “What are you doing there?”, “Are you a medic?”, “When will the war end?”, “Where do you get electricity, where does the Internet come from?”. You can say right away that civilians are asking.

A lot of people think that if the military has the Internet, it means they are somewhere in the rear. People don't realize that there can be Internet in the forest plantation, that there is Starlink, generators, and Ecoflow. There are a lot of such questions, and I don't even pay attention anymore.

And then there are the stupid questions when you're holding the broadcast: “Why are there no shelling sounds, why is it so quiet?” Do you think that when there is shelling, I will start the broadcast?

About death

I think that all military men who consciously come here and have been in service for a long time understand that this can happen to anyone: today you are here, tomorrow you are gone.

If, God forbid, I die, the main thing for me is that it should be sudden, that there should be no torn-off arms, legs, meat, that is, bam and that's it. I'm afraid of being crippled, especially without legs, because I love an active life. I've always been doing sports, I went to competitions with our brigade, and I keep fit so that I can carry 30 kg boxes and 70 kg assault rifles.

I have a friend who was a pilot, and his Mavic with TNT exploded in his hands. When I came to the evacuation, I didn't even know it was him, because there was blood all over him, minus an arm, minus a leg, minus his eyesight. Well, his one eye can definitely see now. When he was able to do something normally with one hand, he wrote a message: “Thank you for taking me out then”. Now he is having prostheses, and he is living. He has a girlfriend who is always with him, and he has our support.

I really admire people who can continue to function and live with a spark in their eyes after losing a part of their body. I don't know if I could pull myself together.

About Mariupol

I have a dream: I want my own gym in Mariupol.

When we were on the point of permanent deployment it was possible to rent an apartment and live like a human being after six o'clock. The apartment was on the fifth floor. In the morning, you wake up, go out to the balcony, and see the sea and the Illichivets sports complex, a big blue building with a gym inside and an outdoor stadium.

The Covid-19 epidemic started, and we were assigned to patrol the city with the police. I also went on this patrol, and then I got to know Mariupol very well — we walked 17-20 km. At that time Mariupol opened up to me in a new way. I have a lot of memories, and I hope we will bring it back.