Instead of a round-the-world trip on a yacht, he chose trenches and war

The candlelit cake in Bakhmut's basement looked like an alien from outer space. International Legion fighter Greg held it in his hands and smiled like a Hollywood star at his fellow New Zealander.

It was December 18, 2022. A few hours earlier, Greg had miraculously gotten out of town and had gone to Kostiantynivka to get a cake and candles to make a celebration for his fellow soldier, whose birthday was coming up. The gloomy basement was instantly lit up by the birthday cake and wishes. The strong men in the pixel were touched like children.

Commander Black told this story to Greg-Hryhorii Tsekhmistrenko's father after his death. When he brings their son's belongings to his parents: a small black prayer book, a wooden cross, a sheet with lines from Shevchenko's “Testament”, shoes, and a first aid kit with traces of blood.

After hearing the story about the cake, Vitalii Tsekhmistrenko asked: “Did you know that the next day, December 19, was Hrysha's birthday?” Commander Black shook his head guiltily — they did not know. And in this, the father recognizes his Hrysha: all his life he tried not to cause trouble, instead he arranged celebrations for others.

We met Vitalii Tsekhmistrenko at the hromadske studio. Nine months have passed since the death of his son. I had heard a lot about Tsekhmistrenko Sr. A two-time member of the Ukrainian parliament, and owner of the once most powerful agricultural holding Rise. Focus magazine estimated his fortune at $291 million. In 2011, he suddenly sold his entire business and disappeared from both politics and business.

Vitalii hardly ever saw his son because he was busy with business and politics

He wore a plaid shirt and matching pants. He was tall, fit, with gray, almost white hair. Without any blings or visible attributes of a rich man. Vitalii came to the meeting by foot. He bought coffee in a paper cup. And we started talking about his son. I asked about Hryhorii's childhood. The elder Tsekhmistrenko smiled, tears welling up in his eyes.

He answered honestly: “I practically did not see his childhood. I was in business, I was in politics. Until he was 8 years old, he had everything that children of parents who are involved in politics have. Realizing that a child needs to be thrown a bone, I threw Courchevel, some trips, I bought Lego: soldiers, fortresses… But I had no warmth, no understanding of what a daughter and a son are. There was no time.”

When Hrysha turned 8, his parents divorced. It was a painful process for everyone. Hryhorii did not communicate with his mother for the next 9 years.

After the divorce, Vitalii took his son to Canada. There he was taken in by a Christian family whom Tsekhmistrenko had met a few years earlier during a business trip.

“I have never seen so much love on one square meter in my life. The love these people gave my son shocked me,” Vitalii explained his decision to me.

He visited his son once every month and a half. Hryhorii went to a Canadian school, to church, read the Bible, and once shocked his father: “I want to be baptized.” The explanation that he had already been baptized as an infant did not work, Hryhorii wanted a conscious baptism. He also consciously dreamed of becoming a soldier.

“He wanted to be a soldier since he was 8 years old. He sat in the church and shot with his finger. There was no military in the family. He wanted to enter the Bohun Lyceum, but I insisted that he not. But he still always wanted to be a soldier.”

After a year in Canada, Hryhorii returned to Ukraine. He lived with his father in Kyiv. He felt like a black sheep in the capital's school, unlike the Canadian environment, so every summer and Christmas Vitalii sent him to his “Canadian parents”.

From Ukrainian millionaire to Canadian Robinson

In 2011, to everyone's surprise, Tsekhmistrenko sold the business he had built from scratch and moved to Canada. At the time, it was rumored that Yanukovych had his eye on his empire and he was confronted with the fact that he had to give it up. Today, Tsekhmistrenko does not deny that there were such conversations, but he says that it was not pressure from the government that was decisive, but pressure from within him.

The man wanted to get out of the golden cage he had built for himself. He bought a small house in Canada and moved in with his son. His friends and relatives were twisting their fingers at their temples and did not understand his decision. They called him a religious fanatic because he said that God had opened his heart.

“I had a terrible breakdown when I arrived in Canada, I cried. After two secretaries, two drivers, and a bunch of assistants, I had to hold the hammer myself. We lived alone. Winter for 6 months. The temperature was minus 40. I did not go to Morocco or Malta. The conditions there were difficult. I had to mow three hectares of lawn and plant trees. It was 56 kilometers to the nearest store.”

From a top businessman and politician, he became a shadow. He worked hard physically, cooked and taught his son to work with his hands. He wanted him to know how to earn not thousands of dollars, but a hundred. But most importantly, Vitalii now had time for spiritual practices and for his son.

“I had to get up every morning and prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I had to drag him out of bed to school to catch the bus, I had to say more than once: 'If you don't get up, you'll walk. There was also a case when the bus left and he walked for several kilometers, knee-deep in snow, -25 outside, and I sent him off. But my son loved me. I am grateful to him for that.”

The Revolution of Dignity: Berkut officer wanted to break all his fingers

For several years, they lived in two countries. They had the right to stay in Canada for only 180 days a year, then moved to the United States, and then returned. Nine years after the divorce, Vitalii resumed his relationship with his ex-wife, and Hryhorii resumed his relationship with his mother.

The three of them began to live together. However, Canada still did not grant them permanent residence. So Tsekhmistrenko Sr. decided to return to Ukraine with his family. The Revolution of Dignity was beginning in Kyiv at the time.

“He (Hryhorii — ed.) was completely immersed in it. On February 18 (2014 — ed.) he was beaten. He stood with a stick on the top barricade and fought off the Berkut officers. He beat one of them badly. Hryhorii was thrown behind bars. That Berkut officer went in and wanted to break all his fingers. But a major from the internal security drove the Berkut officer out and saved Hrysha.”

Vitalii found his son in the hospital. He had a concussion and an overwhelming desire to fight on. The Maidan turned a peace-loving Christian, who was raised in Canada, into a patriot ready to fight and die for Ukraine. It scared his father.

The Russian-Ukrainian war was beginning. Hrysha rushed to the East to join his Maidan brothers. Vitalii decided to save his son. He found a hook — the Canadian family that raised Hryhorii was celebrating a golden wedding anniversary. For this reason, Hrysha agreed to leave Ukraine for a few days.

“When it was time to return, I took his passport and went to Ukraine with the documents. It was a big blow to him. He wanted to report me to the police, to the embassy, but the people who were there said: ‘For some reason, your dad did this, your dad wanted to protect you.’ I did not come back for 4-5 months.”

When Vitalii finally arrived in Canada, he heard:“Dad, I love and respect you very much, but you have hurt me a lot. That's why I'm leaving home and will live somewhere else. This does not mean that we have destroyed our relationship, but I cannot live with you.”

For many years he has been preparing for war

Hryhorii was preparing himself. He took various courses for paramedics and military training. In Poland, Denmark, and the United States. He traveled all over the world on medical missions. He followed the events in Ukraine and seemed to be waiting for his time.

“Since 2014, we have been struggling. He suffered a lot that he missed 2014-15. He was worried that he hadn't gone to war earlier. He knew Dmytro Kotsiubailo, Ukrainian volunteer, soldier, and participant in the Russo-Ukrainian WarDa Vinci. Because of all this, at the age of 22, he turned gray. He told me: ‘Dad, you can't imagine what it was like for me: two of my friends from the Maidan died in the war.”

In 2019, Hryhorii Tsekhmistrenko became a Canadian citizen, but despite his passport, he remained a Ukrainian. On January 15, 2022, he flew out of Canada to conduct training for paramedics and riflemen in Ukraine, anticipating a major war on the horizon. His parents were also back home at the time.

From Hrysha to Snickers, Dürer and Greg

On February 24, the Tsekhmistrenko family woke up in their apartment in the center of Kyiv, like most Kyiv residents, to explosions. Hrysha packed his things in half an hour. He did not want his father to drive him to the collection point.

“But I told him: ‘This may be the last time I see you, so let me walk you out.’”

Two hours after he and his father said goodbye, Hryhorii was already in Hostomel. Then came the battles for Moshchun and Irpin. Hryhorii was nicknamed Snickers because he gave people chocolate bars. And he himself took the call sign Dürer not because he loved the work of this artist, but because he admired Dmytro Kotsiubailo, who had the call sign Da Vinci.

After fighting for the Kyiv region, Hrysha joined the International Legion, where he became Greg. He went through Sievierodonetsk, Lysychansk, Kherson, Mykolaiv, Zaporizhzhia, and Bakhmut.

“We had three periods of time, 10 days each before he left,” thefather does not speak of his son's death in any other way. For him, Hrysha went to the worlds where they will definitely meet someday. “We walked 10-12 kilometers. He opened up a bit and told me about different sides of the war. Hryhorii was full of ideals at the beginning of 2022, but by the end, he had matured and saw what life was like.”

He chose the front instead of a trip around the world on a yacht

On their last Sunday together, they prayed. And they went for a long walk. Hrysha asked if his father would give him a loan to buy an apartment in Kyiv after the war. He decided that he wanted to live in Ukraine.

Vitalii replied: “We'll talk after the victory.” He had already prepared a gift for Hrysha — he paid for sailing courses and wanted to buy Hrysha a yacht. He convinced Hrysha to take a break from the war, knowing that Hrysha dreamed of sailing around the world. But Hryhorii was adamant that the sails would wait until “after the victory”.

“‘Dad, in February I'm going to be sent to Europe for training, and the special forces have started training. That's why I'm going to Bakhmut for the last time and will continue to study.’ And that was indeed his last trip to Bakhmut,” Vitalii recalls one of their last phone conversations.

His older sister Alisa was the first in the family to learn about Hrysha's death. She read it on Instagram and called their father. Later they will be told how Hryhorii died. When a shell hit, he covered his brothers in arms.

Hryhorii Tsekhmistrenko died on the night of January 14-15, 2023. Exactly one year after he flew to Ukraine from the safety of Canada.

The wandering hedgehog

Social media is an interesting thing. You can learn about someone's death from them, but you can also look at the life of someone who is no longer there and kind of live it with them.

You can visit very different places with Hryhorii Tsekhmistrenko. Wandering Hedgehog is his nickname on Instagram. And anyone can join him in exploring the beauty of the planet — from Canada to Iceland, Tanzania, Kenya, France, the Netherlands, and Bali. And to the frontline Ukraine. The pictures from the war are the latest in Hryhorii's Instagram photo collection.

On July 19, 2021, under a photo of a river and yacht sails, Hrysha wrote: “Short life, but a merry one.”

Hryhorii Tsekhmistrenko was only 28. His father knows that his son was happy.

“My son has passed away, and I miss him very much, but I know where he is. And no one can take this faith away from me.”

During our conversation, I repeatedly felt waves of fatherly happiness — a little sad, bitter, and wistful. Vitalii's eyes welled up with tears more than once. But he is grateful that his son was in his life and that he was in his son's life. Vitalii Tsekhmistrenko knows for sure that happiness is not about money. Sometimes happiness can be just a dream.

“In my dream, Hryhorii came up to me, smiling, hugged me, and spoke in my ear: ‘Dad, I am very grateful to you for everything you have done in my life.’ And that was it…”