A mother's painful search: one woman's 463-day odyssey to find her fallen son's remains

Mother and sister to the west, Vlad to the east

Vlad grew up like all boys: he rode his bike, played soccer, and went fishing. Fortunately, there was a river near his house. He, his dad, mom, and sister Liza lived in the village of Varva in Chernihiv Oblast. His grandmother lived nearby.

"Everyone loved him, and he loved everyone, he had a good heart," recalls Nadiya.

The young man studied to be an electrician and went to work on construction sites in France. When his mother was going to Europe to work as a caregiver for the elderly, Vlad gave her money for the first trip: "If they swindle you, at least you’ll have money to return."

He had wanted to go to the front since he was 16, but finally joined the army when he was 23. He signed a contract with the 95th Air Assault Brigade and was a squad leader when it fought in the Joint Forces Operation. The full-scale war caught him studying in Zhytomyr.

"He and the guys were immediately sent to the airport on a helicopter. He calls me: ‘Mom, there is no airport, everything has been bombed’. And for some reason, I thought of Boryspil. What do you mean there is no airport? It seems to be quiet there," says Nadiya.

Later she realized that this was Hostomel. Her son was defending it.

Then, in the first days of the invasion, he called and quietly said that their group was surrounded. He did not say where exactly.

"He told me that they were trapped and could not get out. I ran to the military commissariat: ‘Do you know that your brigade is surrounded? Do something!’ And in the evening, my son wrote: ‘We got out!’" Nadiya recalls.

Vladyslav insisted that his mother and sister leave the country: Chernihiv Oblast was occupied, so the enemy might reach their village too.

Nadiya shares screenshots of her correspondence with her son on social media:

"I want to be closer to you," Vlad’s mother writes.

"Well, I am what I am, this is my profession. Anything can happen to me. But you have Liza, so think about leaving. At least to Zakarpattya Oblast," the son replies.

They all left on the same day: the women went west, to Germany, to the family where Nadiya used to work, and Vlad went east to defend Kharkiv Oblast.

Later, he will send her greetings on March 8: "May you always be the most beautiful mom in the world. More strength for the support you give us. I love you."

When his mother asked what to send him, he wrote: "I am used to living without anything. Just a little peace and I'm happy."

When she wrote that she wanted to come back, he answered: "Stay. The time will come and you will come back. I need to be sure that you are okay and I have nothing to worry about. Love, kisses, hugs. Hi to Liza and grandma!"

Above the correspondence in Telegram, there is an inscription near the contact: "seen a long time ago".

Two feelings in mother's heart: hope that her son is alive and a desire to find his body if he is not

"The last time we spoke was on April 1. Very briefly. ‘Mom, we were on a mission. We just got to a zone where we can make a phone call. I'm fine, alive and well. Let's communicate later on Telegram".

And that was it. Later, Nadiya will receive a printout of her son's calls: he tried to call her German number on April 5, but didn't get through.

For a week, his parents were in constant tension. No matter what they do, there is turmoil inside, their eyes are always on the phone: what if they missed the news? Thoughts are racing: maybe there is no connection; maybe he can’t charge the phone; maybe they are close to the enemy, so their phones are off.

Eventually, Nadiya calls the unit's press officer: "What's going on? How is it?" - "Everything is fine." - "Tell Vladik that we love him very much, we are waiting for him. Me, his grandmother, and his sister - all of us."

The press officer promises that the young man will call back. But she keeps silent.

The next evening, the unit called: "The boys say that Vlad was shot by a sniper. But we don't know whether he was killed or not. We will try to get him. We've already helped the guys get out of the encirclement, so we hope to manage it this time."

Nadiya's heart broke. Since then, she has had two opposing feelings: hope that her son is alive, and a desire to find his body if he is not. Sometimes one prevails, sometimes the other. And so on for 463 days.

Officially, Vladyslav was reported missing, so his parents began their search. First of all, they found out who was with their son in that battle, who saw with their own eyes what happened. And this is very difficult.

Several friends confirmed his death, but it was not first-hand. After several chains of acquaintances, his father got in touch with the platoon commander, who recognized him: "Yes, this is my soldier. But I don't know what happened and how it happened."

"But I hope that if there are no witnesses to Vladik's death, maybe he is alive? And everyone is wrong?" Nadiya reflects. She asked her brother from Russia to help her look for him there, wrote letters to prisons and detention centers in the occupied territories. To no avail. Classmates, friends, and relatives searched for him.

"I've been everywhere, asked everybody. Apart from a fortune teller, I don't believe in that. Other mothers paid 4,000 hryvnias ($109) for such fortune-telling. But in August, we came acroos guys who were there with my son," her voice fades.

Now she knows how it all happened.

"...but he died"

In the village of Sulyhivka, Izyum district, Kharkiv Oblast, a group of Ukrainian soldiers was clearing the area and ran into an enemy reconnaissance and sabotage group.

"Vladik and his boys were in one house, and the Russians were in another. They were shooting at each other. Our guys called for help. They were guys from another brigade, strangers. He stayed with them. He was shot dead on April 7. At the same time, several of his brothers-in-arms were wounded. They were retrieved in the evening, but three other soldiers stayed until the morning. And Vladik's body was with them. They told us that our son died as a hero," Nadiya sniffles and adds quietly, to herself, "but he died.”

She repeats this phrase several more times. And this will mean that all the words, even the most important ones in the world, are nothing compared to these three: "But he died."

"The bullet hit him in the shoulder," Nadiya continues. "Another bullet would have pierced him and gone out. But this is a bullet that changes its direction when it meets an obstacle. This one went into his heart. Literally a minute and a half... and he died. They tried to help him, and sealed the hole. It was tiny... but he died."

When the Ukrainian military liberated Sulyhivka in August 2022, killing more than 100 Russians, the Yefremenko family went there.

But the searcher from the son's brigade who was helping them made a mistake. He turned into the wrong house. The couple walked around, but there were no signs of anyone lying there. And Nadiya's mind started spinning: maybe her son had fainted and not died? Maybe he woke up and crawled away.

She checked the weather that night. On the one hand, it was cold, but not cold enough to freeze. But was he wearing a warm jacket underneath so he wouldn't catch cold? On the other hand, it wasn't too hot, so the blood wouldn't bleed out as fast.

When her thoughts turned in the other direction, she got scared. What if her son died and his body was never found? What if he was torn apart into atoms? Or did the animals tear his flesh apart? Or maybe he was taken to Siberia as a wounded man, died there, and no one would ever report it?

Looking for her son alive, she also looked for him dead. In the morgues of Dnipro. Rumors surfaced that some "missing persons with documents" were found there.

The Yefremenko family decided that if Vladyslav was not found by the time the heat came, they would go to the village with shovels. They will dig themselves.

"Have you died?" - "Well, what can you do?"

In March 2023, the 95th Brigade's group made an announcement: in the coming days, searchers, military, and dog handlers – the Antares detachment – would be working in the area.

On March 26, a searcher called Nadiya. They found him. The military came across a skull: Vladyslav's brothers-in-arms buried him slightly, but the rains washed away the ground and the bone turned white. Withn 5 minutes, dogs were on the spot and confirmed the discovery.

There was no doubt: only one fighter, Vladyslav Yefremenko, died in that place. But his mother's heart did not believe it.

"Send me a photo of his teeth. Vladik had had his teeth done in Lviv before, and I had photos from the clinic. The soldier was hesitant: ‘You can't show mothers that.’ – ‘I've seen such things in morgues, that my hair stood on end, I'm ready, send them’. He had these irregularities in the front, and they coincided. They were his teeth," her voice is chilling.

But he immediately lets out a nervous laugh: "You still think: what if someone else has teeth like that..."

Before Nadiya received the DNA test, she had a dream about her son. For the first time in more than a year of searching.

He came home in civilian clothes. He hugged her. She hugged him. And they stand there. "Vladik, I was told that you were killed." The young man turns away and says sadly: "Well, what can you do?"

In the morning, Nadiya realized that she had to prepare for the funeral.

On July 13, 2023, Vladyslav was buried in his hometown. Next to his grandparents. At the place of his death in Kharkiv Oblast, his father planted a flag, laid flowers and candy.

* * *

During the funeral, a butterfly landed on the car with the soldier's body. Then it landed on his mother's shoulder.

"I refuse to believe that Vladik is gone. There is no such feeling. In my imagination, he lives elsewhere," Nadiya says three months after the burial and a year and a half after her son's death.