"How is my child intact if she was killed?" In memory of Heroine of Ukraine Kateryna Stupnytska

“Katia is dead... But she's intact”. On March 9, 2022, Tetiana Stupnytska looked at the phone in dismay as the commander of the medical unit where her daughter Katia served called. She said that yesterday a bomb from an airplane hit the house where the medical center was based. The house collapsed as if it was made of cards. The girl, who had just come out into the yard, was thrown 30 meters by the blast wave. She died instantly.

“How can my child be intact if she was killed? Only later did I realize that there could have been nothing left of her body. A combine harvester could have fit into the pit from the explosion. We went to look. All that was left of the house was a ladder and a piece of the roof that was propped up by it,” the woman says a year later.

Doctor Kateryna Stupnytska died last year on March 8. She was posthumously awarded the title of Hero of Ukraine. During the full-scale war, 208 men and only two women, Inna Derusova and Katia, were awarded the title.

She cut up frogs and ducks and beat up boys

When you talk to the mother of a murdered son or a deceased daughter, you have to start with childhood. To give her an opportunity to remember the sweet stories that are dear to her heart. To relive those moments and smile again, to be happy somewhere, to feel proud and relax for a second. And to stop her voice from trembling with tears.

We did just that.

Tetiana Stupnytska, a 47-year-old postal worker from the village of Zaliznytsia in Rivne Oblast, is a mother of three. Katia is the oldest, born in 1996, Kostia is two years younger, and Vlad is only 20.

Her mother calls her daughter Katrusia. She recalls that she learned to read from the neighborhood girls. She started school already literate and later read twice as fast as her classmates. They took her with them to the store to buy candy because she could count the change. At the age of six, she was milking a cow like an experienced housewife, at 11 she baked pies for the first time, and at a chess competition, she beat her teacher. At this last fact, Tetiana's voice goes up with delight.

“She was not afraid of anything, she was interested in everything: she knew how to break down a chicken or a duck when she was little. And once, with the children, they cut open a frog, looked at what was inside, and organized a funeral for it. She stood up for the girls and could fight back with both her words and her fist. And she used to beat the boys. She was a fighter. She was very concerned that everything was fair, and was indignant when something was not. I remember when they got a task at school, the one who typed it on the computer got a higher grade. Katerusia wrote by hand. She used to wonder: ‘Why? Why is that? I tried so hard’,” hermother recalls.

She painted red crosses on her handbags, bandaged her dolls, and loved white coats. This led young Stupnytska to the Dubno Medical College. After graduation, 19-year-old Katia was appointed head of a rural health post in the village of Danychiv, not far from her native Zaliznytsia. The nurse, Liubov Dolhusheva, who had seen ten paramedics in her lifetime, called the newcomer “My Kateryna”. She put her number in her phone like this.

“It was obvious that she was interested in medicine. She tried her best, she was not lazy to look at the book once again. She felt sorry for people. Once, a man came from a distant village in the cold, so she warmed him up with tea. Suddenly, a health inspector came to check on her: what's this mess? So she quickly made the inspector go. And when she decided to join the army, we both cried and hugged. I still cry for her. She is a golden child. Yesterday I was in Korets (district center — ed.), where her photo is on the stella. I came up and kissed it,” I canhear the woman in tears. “I am so proud of her. She laid down her life so that the enemies would not come here.”

Saving people is my calling

At the age of 20, Katia went to the military enlistment office: “I want to be a military medic.” Since 2016, she has served as a medical instructor at the 3rd Mechanized Battalion's medical unit in the 14th Separate Mechanized Brigade in Volodymyr, Volyn. She has been to the Joint Forces Operation zone several times.

Her mother tried to dissuade her from signing a contract with the Armed Forces as best she could: “Child, don't go. It's the army, everything is by the hour, you will be controlled, you will not belong to yourself.”

At the time, Tetiana did not realize what kind of war was going on in the east. It did not affect their region, and that was fine. But later, from the stories of her daughter's friends (because Katia did not share them), she realized where she was and what was happening there. She could no longer live in peace. She was counting the days until the end of her three-year contract.

“Once she and the girls were in the combat zone, and they were under fire at the front line. Bullets were whizzing by their heads. One soldier pushed them into a trench and saved them. And the wounds of the soldiers there were so severe that she was slipping in blood. I begged her not to sign the contract anymore. But she didn't listen: in September 2021, she extended it for another year. She only reassured me: ‘Mom, I'm a doctor, nothing will happen to me,’” Tetiana recalls.

The girl came on vacation but kept wanting to return. She did not know what to do in civilian life. She said: “This is my calling. My vocation is to be at war: to pull out, to save people in the literal sense of the word.” Her companion nurses assure her that Katia has saved dozens of lives.

Katia’s mother recalls the first time her daughter traveled to the east. The cars were moving in a convoy, and Kateryna and her commander Oksana Horpinich were in one of the last cars. They got word over the radio that someone in front of them was sick. The girls grabbed their bags, jumped out of the cab, and ran to the head of the convoy, overtaking the vehicles. The battalion commander breathed a sigh of relief: “Phew, I finally have real medics.”

Last winter, Stupnytska was training at the Rivne training ground. On February 23, she asked her parents to come to pick up her things, and the next day she called, speaking quickly.

“The war has started, fill up the car, pack your things and documents. Get ready. I am being taken somewhere.”

Both before and after the Great War, Katia did not tell her family any details and did not name her location.

From February 24 to March 7, she called every day for a few minutes. She said the same thing:“I'm fine”.

“She knew that I would be worried and wither away if I didn't hear from her. She kept asking me how I was doing. I couldn't understand why. She had just come recently and seen everything. Later I realized that she was actually afraid that we would go through the same hell as she did. She didn't want us to suffer,” Kateryna’smotherrecalls.

On March 8, Katia did not call.

She rescued at least 20 soldiers

Milena Sanotska served in the same unit as Kateryna. Kateryna was a medic, and her friend Milena was an infantry fighting vehicle gunner.

“She was funny, such a 'lighter'. Her eyes were burning. She was bold. She was not silent, she defended her opinion. There is one woman who serves with us who is always coming up with excuses to do nothing. Katia was the only one who told her everything, she told her frankly that everyone was fed up with her,” says Milena.

The girl says that her friend wanted to buy a car, and she was due to get her driver's license on February 24. That Katia was madly popular with men, who showered her with flowers and chocolates. That she loved her family very much and was gentle with her parents and brothers. That she could give the last of her money to her friends. That she dreamed of having a family of her own.

“She was the only one of the girls and medics to be sent to the defense of Makariv near Kyiv. She wasn't afraid to go at all, because she was a fighter, a fearless and responsible person. If she had to go, she would go. She called us several times since the beginning of the invasion: ‘Girls, don't worry, I'm fine, I'll come to you soon.’ Although I could hear her voice trembling and knew she had little medicine. We already knew that things were not good there. But it was in her character to react positively to everything, with a smile.”

The servicemen settled in a village with a cheerful name Nalyvaikivka, 7 km from Makariv. A medical center was set up in the last house. Katia worked and lived here, and the company commander settled in the other half. Makariv was partially occupied by Russians. They broke through to Nalyvaikivka four times. Our military did not let them in but at a terrible cost.

Tanker Vasyl Shvets from the same brigade is now fighting on the frontline. We were able to reach him by chance when he went to a village to buy cigarettes for the guys. We were unable to contact the commander of the company in which Katia served — he is also on the frontline.

“Together with Katia, we warmed our hands by the fire, hid in the cellar, and talked about how we had to drive this evil from our land. Katia took my phone to call her mom because only Vodafone was working. I heard her calming her mother down. She was very afraid that the katsaps would reach her native Rivne Oblast.

Everything was more or less tolerable until March 8, and then we went into battle. It was very hard, almost the entire 9th Company was killed there, plus a tank platoon. I was the only one who was able to leave in my burnt but still operating tank.

Almost all of the people were wounded: the ones with more severe injuries were taken away and the ones slightly injured remained at their positions. Katia was carrying the dead and wounded all day long. Such a small girl pulled out such big men under such fire — I would not have believed it if I had not seen it myself. In particular, she pulled out the platoon commander. The wounded were evacuated to hospitals by car. She was fearless, she had such a strong spirit,” the servicemanrecalls.

According to Vasyl, Kateryna Stupnytska carried at least 20 soldiers out of the battle and saved their lives. Later, she helped those who were slightly injured at the medical center.

That day, the village was shelled by artillery once again. Russians smashed the veranda of the house where the girl lived.

“Late in the evening I saw Katia at the medical center, and she gave me two more tranquilizer pills. I take two pills before a fight and feel calmer. My crew and I lived in a summer kitchen, practically in the same courtyard as the medical center. And we moved our damaged tank a little further just on the evening of March 8. I told Katia: ‘Let's find you a normal basement with a reinforced concrete floor. You need to move out of here because it's very dangerous. We'll help you move your things.’ ‘Okay, okay, but later, because I need to repack my bag of medicines,’” Vasyl says.

At about 9:30 p.m., planes started flying over the village. Several bombs were dropped on Nalyvaikivka. One of them fell on a house with a medical center. Katia had just come out into the yard, presumably to make a phone call. The company commander was inside. He was pulled out of the rubble — heavily wounded, but alive. In the house across the street, furniture fell on the Ukrainian soldiers who were spending the night there, but all the people survived.

They searched for the doctor all night. The next morning, a dog was sniffing at something under a tree in the distance. We rushed over and found Katia lying there.

Buried in a wedding dress

“I never thought anything bad would happen to Katia,” recalls Milena Sanotska, “The girls and I knew about the shelling, but we were sure she was somewhere in the basement. Katia was always so careful. And when they said they couldn't find her, we thought that the passage had been filled in or blocked, but now the boys would dig her up.”

After hearing about her friend's death, Milena slid down the wall. She was hysterical. They were very close in spirit, they called each other sisters. They were family to each other. A year later, the wound has not healed. Milena says it felt like she was torn in half.

And then, on March 9, 2022, Oksana Horpinich, as a senior doctor and a close friend of Katia's (she called her the third daughter because she had two of her own), dared to tell the girl's parents what others were afraid to.

I asked Katia’s mom:“Should we bury her in a dress or a uniform? I'll buy everything.” And she did: a wedding dress, a white fur coat, a veil, a coffin. She didn't let the girls chip in. She decided that this would be her last gift for Katia. She brought the daughter to her parents.

Unfortunately, it will not be possible to talk to her, to ask her about Katia: Oksana died on May 4 in Kharkiv Oblast. An artillery shell hit the building of the village council where she was bringing the wounded, and later two missiles hit there. Some of the locals gave up their position.

“Oksana was under the rubble, time passed, and she was not found. And after 5 days I felt someone walking around the house. And I had a feeling that she would be dug up. And so it happened. I know it was Katrusia who came to tell me,” says Tetiana Stupnytska.

For five months after her daughter's death, the woman woke up every night from a nightmare: she was looking for Katia, but she was gone. A year has passed, and she still doesn't believe she is dead. She is still waiting for a call: “Mom, don't worry, everything is fine.”

“I realize with my mind that I won't see her, but my heart seems to say: she is serving, she will come home any minute. My heart does not accept it. The person with whom I could talk about everything in the world was taken away from me. Not every mother has such a relationship with her daughter. Not everyone is such a soulmate, not everyone has such a connection. I have a feeling that most of me is gone, I feel empty inside,” she sobs: “The only incentive for me to live is her words: ‘No need to shed tears, no need to worry.’ She really didn't like it when I cried. Her grandmother, my mother, lives alone. I call her every day, and I can hear in her voice that she has been crying. But she doesn't complain, she just says: ‘I'm fine’”.

I ask if it's a family trait to answer any question with “Everything is fine”?

Katia's mother agrees: yes, they all care about each other. The woman is no longer crying, but she is not smiling either.

* * *

The school where Kateryna Stupnytska went is named after her. Streets in Korets, Rivne, and Kyiv were named in her honor.

And the Golden Star, the order that was posthumously awarded to the Heroine of Ukraine, combat medic, Sergeant Kateryna Stupnytska by a presidential decree of March 19, 2022, was never handed to her parents.