"How much money am I entitled to?" — mother at her son's funeral. Who is entitled to 15 million after a military's death

A child born after the death of the father

Anna and Oleh Kulakovski from Poltava got married a year before the full-scale invasion. Before that, they had been living together for 7 years. The 40-year-old man has two twin boys from a previous marriage. Anna has a son whom she and Oleh raised together.

The man was a military officer, served in the airborne assault troops, and took part in the fighting in Donbas. At the beginning of 2022, he served under contract. On February 12, his brigade was sent to Kharkiv Oblast, and on February 23, to Sumy. The next day, his wife spoke to him in the morning, and then the connection was lost. The unit reported that he was probably killed.

They were looking for the body for a week. It turned out that Oleh was driving a combat vehicle that was traveling in a convoy. They ran into an ambush by an enemy subversive group. The shelling started, and either a sniper's bullet or a shell fragment hit Kulakovskyi in the head. He died immediately. The uncontrolled car exploded: there was ammunition and weapons inside. The driver's body was burned.

Next came the DNA examination. The funeral took place two months after the death. At that time, the woman found out she was pregnant.

“On the one hand, it's terrible that Oleh didn't find out about the pregnancy and that his son won't know his father. On the other hand, we wanted a child, and now I have the incentive to survive,” Anna says in a phone conversation.

The baby's cries are heard on the phone. The boy was born on October 14, the Day of Defenders of Ukraine. He was named Oleksii, which means “defender” in Greek.

In Anna's case, the 15 million hryvnias were to be divided among seven people: her husband's parents, his two twin sons, Anna herself, and her children. There were no problems with anyone except Oleksii. He was born after his father's death.

When she was pregnant, she asked the military enlistment office whether her unborn child was entitled to this payment. One time, she was told that it was, and the other time, she was told that it was not.

Anna is alawyer by profession. She knows that everything is decided through official letters, so she wrote to the Ministry of Defense to reserve a share for her unborn child. She believes that if the law does not clearly state that unborn children are entitled to a share, then it is possible to act by analogy with civil inheritance law. It states that children born in a legal marriage within 10 months of their father's death are entitled to a share of the inheritance.

Kulakovska received a refusal from the Defense Ministry: “Only those family members who were present at the time of the serviceman's death are entitled.”

Both of Anna's children receive a pension due to the loss of their provider. The woman wants to use the paragraph of the law that states that such persons are entitled to a share of the lump sum. The military registration and enlistment office accepted her documents, but warned her that she would get a permit for the older boy, but probably not for the younger one.

Three months have passed since she submitted her documents, and she still hasn't received a response. If she is denied, she will sue the Ministry of Defense.

In her opinion, the law on compensation should stipulate that children born within 10 months of their father's death are also entitled to a one-time payment.

“I would also advise the families to write official letters, to insist on the law. We need to seek the protection of our rights,” Anna insists.

Commentary by Dmytro Yovdii, attorney at law and managing partner of Social Parity Law Firm:

The Ministry of Defense believes that 15 million hryvnias are not an inheritance, but a one-time payment. Therefore, only relatives who existed at the time of the serviceman's death are entitled to it. The position of the Ministry of Defense is clear: to pay less looking for possible clues. Therefore, Anna is likely to be denied. But I advise her and other women who will face this issue to sue. Get a written refusal and go to court. There are chances with a good lawyer.

Common-law wife: girl, you are nobody

Ivan Kovalev, 25, proposed to his beloved girlfriend a year ago. The paratrooper of the 81st Airmobile Brigade left Poltava for Kharkiv a few days before Valentine's Day.

On February 14, a friend came to Yuliia Riabukha with a bouquet and an engagement ring. The ring had an inscription on it: “I love you”. Ivan called her a few hours later: “Well, do you agree? You seem to be thinking about it for too long.” They laughed.

They met six months before and immediately realized that they were a couple. They started living together and planned a wedding.

On February 24, Yuliia talked to Ivan twice on the phone, the guy was in Sumy. “Don't worry, take care of yourself, I love you,” he reassured her. That day, he stopped responding to texts and social media. On March 8, Ivan's friend called her: “Sorry I couldn't save him.” That's how Yuliia learned that her beloved Ivan was killed on the first day of the Great War.

Since then, she has faced obstacles in formalizing any documents. They were not officially married. Because of this, she was not informed of her death by the military unit, nor was she permitted to bury him: “Girl, you are a nobody”.

Ivan's brother permitted by phone. He and his parents live in the occupied Luhansk Oblast. She was only allowed to identify the body without papers because they believed her grief.

Ivan Kovalev was buried on March 15 in Poltava. His parents and brother were not present. His comrades hobbled to the funeral on crutches. At the moment of farewell, his best friend threw them aside to send off the hero paratrooper standing on two legs with dignity.

Grieving, Yuliia Riabukha fell out of reality for six months: “On February 24, I lost everything. It hurts me that I am considered a nobody for Ivan.”

She is going to file a lawsuit to be recognized as a member of her fiancée’s family. She wants to represent his interests in memorial cases. For example, in the unveiling of nameplates in Sumy or Poltava.

The girl collects evidence of their cohabitation to prove to the court that they had a relationship. Photos, correspondence, receipts from purchases, and proof of financial transactions are suitable for this purpose. She needs witnesses who saw them walking the dog or going to the store together.

Yuliia has this evidence. But the third lawyer starts the conversation with a question: “And how long did you live together? Six months? Then you have zero chances. The court considers 5 years or more.”

“In fact, 5 years is not a legal requirement, it is a recommendation. It surprises and depresses me, offends me as a woman and a citizen, that no one cares about our story, our lives. If Ivan hadn't been killed, we would have lived 5, 10, and 50 years as we planned. And our family would have been happy, I'm sure. And they hear about six months and automatically consider this relationship frivolous. And he is the love of my life. I won't explain this to the court, because it needs dry facts," Yuliia says in despair.

She says that even women who have lived with men in civil unions for years are now being told: “Prove that it's hard for you, that you loved him, that you had a life together.”

If Yuliia Riabukha receives the status of a family member, she will be entitled by law to a share of the one-time allowance. Currently, only the parents of the deceased Ivan are entitled. However, they cannot apply from the occupied territory.

“I will be happy if Ivan’s parents get this money and we manage to take them out of Luhansk Oblast. I will be satisfied with the option without compensation. But if there is, I will have more chances to do good deeds. I won't wait for the city council of Sumy or Poltava to decide to put up a memorial sign. I'll just buy it,” Yulia reflects.

Despite minimal chances, she will sue the Ministry of Defense: “It seems that the state is not helping, but is creating more and more stringent conditions so that not everyone receives these compensations. I would be happy if my case succeeded, even if I lost. I would like it to become an impetus for changes in the law on common-law wives. At least I will try. That's what Ivan always taught me.”

Commentary by attorney Dmytro Yovdii:

Until August 25 last year, the Law “On Social and Legal Protection of Servicemen and Members of Their Families” stated that “parents, family members, and dependents” could count on the one-time payment.

Family members are persons who live together and share a common household. That means a common-law wife whose husband died before August 25 is included in this list. I had such cases. The Defense Ministry refused them, but we went to court and won.

As for the 5 years, it is relevant only in the case of inheritance distribution. That is, in the case of our heroine, six months of living with her husband is not too short a period, although the courts may be skeptical.

After August 25, the law was amended. Instead of “family members”, which could include grandmothers or brothers under certain conditions, the definition was clearly stated: “parents, official spouse, minor children, and dependents.”

Our heroine is covered by the previous version of the law because this right arises from the moment of death. If she proves that she was a common-law wife, she will have a chance to get an allowance. In such situations, I take on the cases of the dead until August 25, but after that, unfortunately, I cannot help.

Common-law wives whose husbands are at war should probably think about it and legalize marriage.

A woman whose son was raised in an orphanage wants payments

Semen and Svitlana Povar raised their 17-year-old son together. For two decades, they were on and off several times, and the man had a daughter out of wedlock. Five years before the full-scale invasion, after another breakup, they decided to get married once and for all. They settled in Brovary.

Last year, on February 24, the couple went to the military registration and enlistment office, but the woman was sent home. Semen was defending Kyiv Oblast, and then his 72nd Brigade was transferred to Donetsk Oblast, near Vuhledar. The last time they talked for half an hour was on August 31. And then there was silence.

Svitlana did not worry until September 7, her birthday. She was sure her husband would find a way to congratulate her. But that day she was informed that he had died. Just recently, she received an order to posthumously award him the Order of Courage.

“He did something heroic. I still don't know how Semen died, I'm waiting for the investigation report,” says Svitlana.

Only with this document and a package of others will she be able to apply for a share of the one-time allowance.

The 38-year-old man has never told Svitlana about his mother – they didn’t talk and that was it. One day she decided to reconcile them, contacted her mother-in-law by phone, and heard her voice on the phone: “Who? Senia? Is he still alive?” After that, Semen told her the story of his childhood.

Ever since he could remember, his mother was drunk. The house was either full of men or no one was home, and his younger two brothers and sister were crying from hunger. One day he snuck into a neighbor's house and stole a jar of sugar. He put sugar in water and the little ones quieted down.

She beat her children so badly that Semen was left with scars on his body. The woman was deprived of her maternal rights, and the children were scattered in orphanages. In Semen's memories, the best times of his childhood were spent at the orphanage.

At the age of 16, before entering college, he stopped by his mother's house. He had some kind of scholarship, and she demanded that he give it to her so badly that she hit her son on the head with an ax.

He had enough strength to get out onto the road. He fell. A neighbor saw him there in a pool of blood and took him to the hospital. After that, Semen went to Kyiv and did not see his mother.

And now 22 years have passed. Semen, a grown man, and a fighter, dies. His sister brings his mother from Zaporizhzhia Oblast to the funeral “to say goodbye to her son properly”. She does not even approach the coffin, but finds a military enlistment officer: “What documents do I need to apply for the allowance? How much money am I entitled to?”

Svitlana says that a week after the funeral, her mother-in-law went to court to restore her maternal rights. Svitlana filed an appeal against the decision: “It's not about money. But she has no right to be called a mother. When I brought a memorial plaque to his village for the school, she played grief-stricken. Everyone knows what she is like, and it was disgusting to watch. Her three children did not even approach her at the opening. And when I asked her in front of the military enlistment officer what she was doing, since Semen had children, she answered with a challenge: “What children? Maybe he has children all over the Soviet Union. Am I a grandmother to everyone?”

Part of the allowance to which the mother is entitled will be frozen while the trials are ongoing.

Svitlana wants to restore the rights of Semen's 12-year-old illegitimate daughter. She wants her to receive part of the allowance and have the status of a child of a fallen serviceman. This gives her the right to a pension due to the loss of the provider and benefits when entering an educational institution. But the girl's mother is against it because according to her documents, she is a single mother and has been receiving payments for this. She is afraid that the state will bill her for 12 years.

“My husband wanted to prove his paternity, but he didn't have time. So I'm doing this for justice,” thewidow says.

Commentary by attorney Dmytro Yovdii:

“Perhaps, from a moral point of view, this woman does not have the right to be called a mother, but if the decision remains in force, she will receive compensation. Because she is legally one of the parents.

There are many situations where parents did not take part in the upbringing of their children, but are not deprived of parental rights: the mother went abroad or the father left the family. These people are attracted by a lot of money, and as unfortunate as it sounds, they have a right.

I would propose introducing an amendment to the law that would allow such parents to be excluded from receiving financial assistance in court. Or for the soldier himself to decide who will receive assistance in the event of his death. This should obligatory include minor children, and the rest should be at his discretion.

It is impossible to restore the rights of a man's illegitimate daughter without her mother's consent because she is the child's legal representative in court. You can find a way to help without the mother: get the money for yourself, and put it in an account that the child will have access to from the age of 18.