Last man standing: Volodymyr Parasiuk on Maidan and decade of war

hromadske: We are talking on the eve of the 11th anniversary of the Maidan, which began not only our history as a media outlet, but also yours. What were you like then – and what are you like now? What has changed?

Volodymyr Parasiuk: I guess I am a little different. Circumstances have changed, and you have to get used to them. It's been 11 years, and during this time any person gains experience and becomes different. I started to look at certain things more broadly.

Even the way you look has changed.

I've gotten older (laughs). I was 25 when I was on the Maidan. Now I'm 37.

One of the most important events during this time was the birth of my son. But I see him very rarely. In March, it will be three years since I joined the army.

I miss a lot in his life, and this is the hardest thing. I came back and he started walking, and when I left again, he started talking. He already understands everything and speaks directly: "Daddy, don't go, don't leave me"... It's hard every time.

I love and hate the road the most. When I go on rotation, it's hard on my soul. And when I return, I count every sign and tree, because home is getting closer. Every soldier feels like that.

"How can I consider myself a hero?"

You are called a hero of the Maidan...

No, look...

Even then you denied being a hero, saying: "Heroes are the entire Ukrainian people who managed to destroy this regime."

How can I consider myself a hero if I have seen the heroic deeds of the people I am fighting with? I probably don't even do half of those brave deeds. I need to live two more lives to reach their level.

I look at people who have been captured by Russia, lost their health... A lot of my friends died. How can I say that I am a hero? No, I will never say that in my life.

No one needs these labels. I feel uncomfortable when people say that. I always correct them: don't throw this word around, because it is very important in our society now. I have something to compare it to.

But you were also in captivity.

In 2014. This was the worst thing I experienced at that time.

Although, no, the worst part was when I returned. I thought the authorities would protect us, apologize for what happened, and we would move on with our lives. Instead, they started throwing mud at us and turning us against each other.

I said: "Guys, don't let yourselves be used. We went through hell". It's been many years, but I remember probably every minute of it – everything that happened in Ilovaisk.

It was very painful for me that they started fighting against us. We became unneeded. Someone had to be held accountable for these rash actions. But they are still silent. It's like a bur in their throat.

"By punching someone in the face, I showed everyone: look, they are people too"

After the Maidan, you were involved in scandals and fights in the parliament. Is the reason for this a heightened sense of justice?

To be honest, it's hard to get me off balance. Unfortunately, Ukrainian politicians managed to do it. But I have no regrets.

I was eager to change something, but I didn't ask to become a lawmaker. It was the decision of my colleagues, who said: "Go, you will protect us. After all, an MP has influence". Those who said this were killed. Many went missing. I was left alone.

But do you regret becoming a parliamentarian?

I finally saw how the Verkhovna Rada works. I realized that it's all full of big words and lies, and you just need to open the door for people to see it.

And by slapping someone in the face, I showed everyone: look, they are people too. And you hired this management to manage them.

To launch the processes of civilian control in the state, politicians had to do something unpopular. And it launched a certain process. This is not only my merit. There were a lot of decent people in that convocation – Yehor Soboliev, Ihor Lutsenko, who are now at war.

"F*ck, I’d takee these bastards and made them clear minefields"

Can Parasiuk also settle disputes by kicking a door somewhere now? Or is there a slightly different environment in the army?

There is a different method of settling disputes (laughs). Here I have commanders, I follow orders.

I'll say it again: my actions in the past did not happen simply because I wanted to. They had a reason. I realized that at that time we had no judiciary, no law enforcement system. At least you could get punched in the face.

If something so critical happened tomorrow, I might not hold back either. Just like every person, as far as they feel their level of justice.

I just arrived, saw an article and read about what was happening in one of the orphanages in Ternopil Oblast. And I was torn inside. I wanted to say "f*ck!". I would take these bastards, these educators, put them in a line and make them clear minefields. So you can understand my level of rejection of such things.

Because the best die here so that life can continue there. That's why my attitude to such things is critical. Because the price is too high. This is our reality. And the most important thing is not to separate. Not to run away from it all. We must have a collective responsibility.

Does it get to you that there are more conversations about draft reservations than discussions about, say, clear terms of service? Is the level of fatigue critical now? And what is the morale of the military?

I am in a team with a lot of professional people. And if tomorrow they said, "That's it, you can demobilize," I think very few would do it. Because they have a certain social responsibility, first of all to their fallen brothers-in-arms.

I can honestly say that I probably would not demobilize either. Unless the circumstances would have been different or something would have changed at the front. But if things were as they are now, I would not do it. And they are the same. Their lives are built around war. They don't think about anything else, they don't know anything else.

"I want to survive this war"

By the way, would you like to return to parliament after the war? According to surveys, there is a great demand for new politicians from among the military.

When the current government was forming the lists, a friend asked me if I would go if they offered me. I said: "No, because I'm an old politician" (laughs).

But I am not a politician. I have some political experience, but I don't fit into the framework of a classic politician – neither do I want to.

I am focused on the unit where I serve and the people who serve here. I respect them immensely and will do everything I can to make our work effective and bring everyone back home.

I want to go home too. Very much. I want to survive, and this is one of my key goals.

Is your Maidan core now practically all at war?

The people who were closest to me are almost all dead – some since 2014, some now. Only a few are left. It's hard to talk about this, but this is our story, really.

I was asking myself why so many of my friends died, and I realized that my circle was made up of very active people who wanted to change something, to make the country move in the right direction. There was the Maidan – they went to the Maidan. There was the ATO – they went to the ATO. The war started – they went to war. They could not do otherwise.

After all, you couldn't do otherwise either, could you? I know that even your sister is at the front now.

Yes, she is in another unit, in an infantry brigade. She dreamed of becoming a sniper.

It is very difficult for a woman in the army, especially when she wants to perform combat missions. As a brother, I am crazy worried... I don't even think anything bad can happen. I believe that God will keep her safe on all her missions. She has her own brothers-in-arms, and she loses some of them too.

This is the worst thing that can happen in war. When you are drinking coffee today, laughing, talking about plans to return to civilian life... And then they bring this person... And sometimes the bodies just keep lying there because it is very difficult to evacuate them.

This is our reality, unfortunately. We have no other reality. There is no such "curtain" – I'm done, I'm out.

I can't even rest when I have the chance – I can't switch off my brain. My thoughts are here, where I spent three years. I became a kum (godfather of a child -ed.) to some of my fellow soldiers – I baptized their children. I am more at home here than in Lviv. Super calm Lviv does not calm me down, but rather triggers me.

"If we're doomed, go abroad and say goodbye"

Why? Are you talking about the gap between the home front and the front? Does it feel bigger now?

Mentally – very much so. My whole life is the army. From morning to evening – continuously. I can only discuss this. And what can I talk about with those who have dodged the army? I'm not going to talk about a new iPhone or anything else. That's how you lose contact.

Once I went to a friend's birthday party, where there were a lot of people we used to talk to. But they didn't know what to talk about. What would they say: who bought what, built what, where they went on vacation? They avoided it. I sat there for a while, realized I was out of place, and left.

I remember that after the Maidan there was a strong inner feeling and a slogan: "It will never be the same as it was." But not all the lessons of the Maidan were learned. And now I personally have a great fear about all the lessons being learned in this war. Do you have this fear?

Don't you see that everything has changed? We are on a difficult path, but this is not a setback. We may be taking two steps back, but we are taking three steps forward.

You want to ask what was the most important lesson of the Maidan? The fact that the government came in and stayed for five years. It did something good, something bad, and finally exhausted itself. And then came the elections. We didn't need to go to the Maidan, burn anything, throw anything.

The revolution took place in the voting booth. Whether this choice was right or wrong, it happened. We reserved the right to express our will. This is the most important thing that can happen. If we have not yet raised political elites, it does not mean that we are not on the right track. We are on the very right road.

First lesson: friends, if you violate the general choice of society, you will get revolutions, and they will last as long as it takes.

The next step is to control the government. We didn't just elect them, and you can't just rule for five years. We came and said: we will now control you.

Thirdly, and also very importantly, we have started to prescribe in the laws of Ukraine the things necessary for life that are fair. Each Verkhovna Rada after the Revolution of Dignity brought something good. I believe that this will continue to develop.

I don't want to sit and engage in fatalism - "everything is bad, we are doomed". If that's the case, pack up, go abroad and say goodbye.

There are those who say: "What has this country ever done to me? It gave birth to you, gave you a language, the opportunity to be free, to express yourself freely, and gave you social ties. The state is us. All of us. If you don't like something, go change it. Do not separate yourself from the processes, because you are the process.

"We have entered the final battle"

I came across your speech on YouTube in 2014, and it was like an electric shock: it resonates with what is happening now. I will quote your words: "Let's come down to earth and understand what is happening in the country. We are facing an aggressor: Putin is a terrorist, a bandit and a murderer. He will never leave the country alone! We need to stand firm against the aggressor, both economically and with our armed forces. And who is thinking here? Is there a war or corruption in our country? If we have an aggressor, the whole country must breathe in unison. Because tomorrow Putin will come to Kyiv." Was this obvious to you 10 years ago?

It was clear when we won the Maidan. But it was a battle. And not just one. Now we have reached the main evil and the final battle. I really don't want it to be another one.

We have won the war for our statehood. Now there is a war for survival.

For Putin, the main thing is not territory. He wants to destroy our statehood. When he realized that we began to realize who we are and what we live for, he openly attacked with tanks. But Putin lost, because he did not expect that there would be lines at military units and that people would not be afraid.

You mentioned the queues, but I can't help but think of your previous quote that "the country must breathe in unison." Don't you have a feeling that this unison has already become a bit lost?

We probably think in unison that all this should end.

Only we want it to end in victory and not to return. And others want it to end and not to be affected: "Maybe I'll get away with it." That's the difference.

I will say a terrible thing, but it is true. This war has affected so many families that most people do breathe in unison. But, unfortunately, for some reason, our society is always drawn to the minority that resonates.

What surprises me the most is that we condemn other people a lot. We judge, we try to find some excuses. This is what triggers and worries me the most. There is a lot of judgment, a lot of envy. I want to reach out to someone through this interview so that we can become kinder at some point.

We see the rapid advance of the Russians. How critical and difficult is the situation at the front now?

It is as critical as possible. There is an offensive. Not on the entire front line, but on a huge section of it. Their tactics have changed. The logic is as follows: we can't go in with infantry, so we bombard it with aircraft, with guided aerial bombs, and level it to the ground. And then they abandon their assault units – platoons, companies, or divisions. They abandon them, they die... But one of them infiltrated and gained a foothold, and another infiltrated and gained a foothold. There are already two. And in a week they gathered a critical mass, came and stormed our positions, and people retreated.

People are exhausted. You have to understand this. Besides, we really need people to join the army. Because we need to replace these people, give them a rest. They are not immortal.

Some people like to say to themselves: "I have no experience, I want to live." They have already answered a hundred times: who wants to die? Who among these people here wants to die? I have never met anyone like that.

"How could we think that this child could ever take up arms?"

Your eyes are watering. You said you never cried before the war.

No. But now those stingy tears are coming out. The worst thing I cannot accept (maybe because I became a father) is the death of children. I can't. It is impossible. But not everything depends on us...

I had a unit, we were working in Kherson Oblast. There was a guy with me, 18 years old. So, when I was still in the ATO, he used to draw pictures for us at school. Can you imagine? The guy who drew us pictures 10 years ago was 8 years old. How could we have thought that this child could ever take up arms? Now he is here, and children draw pictures for him.

My godson, my sister's son, Severyn, is also still a schoolboy, but he is undergoing training organized by the 3rd Assault Brigade. He lives by it. And this is what I am most afraid of. Because as a grown man, I understand what he will say after a while: "That's it, I'm 18 years old, I'm going to defend my country". And I will not stop him. But how can I accept this easily? I can't.

What scares you the most now?

The fact that I may not see my child. This is the hardest thing. Most of all, I want to raise my son. This is my huge responsibility. I want Ustym to grow up to be aware of where he lives and what surrounds him, to have respect for the right things and to fight against the wrong things. I want this very much. And I hope that I will succeed.

"If there is no victory, I will not be able to live"

Let's get back to the critical situation at the front. What is the main problem in the army now? Lack of resources, people?

I'm not saying that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow we will become a 100% army that will have the entire resource base, including the reserve. This will not happen because we are always at war. It is impossible.

To some extent, we are in a critical situation. But this critical situation is stable, and this stability is supported by the volunteer movement. Even the logistics we have – 90% of the vehicles were brought by volunteers.

And if we are talking about public volunteers, I am surprised: what, for example, can the authorities have to say to people like Sternenko, Prytula, Chmut, Berlinska?

Are you referring to the situation with Sternenko, when he was put on the wanted list allegedly because he failed to appear before the military commissariat?

I don't understand what questions there could be. Is it that he told you about some of your shortcomings? He wants to do you good. He doesn't want to harm you, he's just giving you advice. Why should you immediately take revenge for this?

I'm very surprised that the state is using some of its levers of influence. But they were smart enough to sit everyone down at the table and talk, and the conflict was resolved. Because they realize that no one should quarrel now. Especially at such a critical moment when geopolitical changes are taking place in the world.  

However, I don't understand this hysteria about Trump. What has changed since Trump was elected? Has there been less shooting and fighting?

But there is more talk of negotiations.

Tell me, who will negotiate with this degenerate? Show me this person.

When people talk to me about negotiations now, I have a feeling that some people think we are just another US state. But we are Ukraine, an independent sovereign state. Even if Trump says something, the final decision will be made by us: whether we will go to these negotiations or not.

And I demand from our president, the supreme commander-in-chief, that he tell us two plans: how will we act if we are forced to negotiate? Will we agree or refuse? If we refuse, the first, second, and third. And if we agree – first, second, third. Just tell us already. Because there will be geopolitical changes in the world. They are already happening.

How do you see victory and do you believe that it can be quick?

Is my victory a territory? It's, you know, like a derivative goal.

My victory is that I will simply give myself some logical explanations for why all these people died. I personally need a victory only for this. Because if there is no victory, I simply won't be able to live. I'll say: why did all these children become orphans, why are these people without legs, without arms? That's why victory for the military is not the same as for people who are not involved in the war.

I believe that this war has dragged on only because the enemy is really strong. Our first mistake, which relaxed us, was to devalue the enemy. If we had taken the enemy seriously, we would have been in a much more favorable situation than we are now.

I believe in a quick victory, but I am preparing for different circumstances.