“My childhood is here”. A volunteer who joined the Armed Forces at 18, following her father's lead

“Where are you?” her father asked 18-year-old Nastia anxiously over the phone.

The girl made up a story that she was moving to Kyiv to work. She said: “I'm packing. It’s not a good time to talk today.” Her father already knew what was going on, but he wanted to hear it from his daughter, so he continued the “interrogation”:

— Tell me the truth!

— Say you won't scold me.

— I will try my best not to.

— Well, I'm in the army. Now I'm Desna, at training.

— I'm coming to get you before it's too late.

— No! With a shield or on a shield, that's the only way. I came here on my own, I wanted to. This is my choice!

“I want to serve!”

Nastia, the middle child in the Shylo family, was 18 years old in 2022. In the summer, she moved out of her parents' house, planning to go to the military enlistment office soon. She didn't tell her family, knowing that they would talk her out of it.

“At the military enlistment office, they looked at me like I was crazy. There was a woman there who must have been about 30 years old. She started crying. She begged me not to go and asked me why I wanted to join the army. I answered: ‘My father is in the army. Every Ukrainian has to do it. We live here for a reason’,” Nastia recalls.

Nastia’s father, Viktor, came to the military enlistment office on February 24, right after he sent his family to the Zakarpattia region. This was not his first time in the army: he had experience of conscript service as a military diver and also participated in the war in Yugoslavia. Now Viktor is serving in the south. He tells Nastia a little about where he is and what he does. His daughter learns everything through her brothers-in-arms.

“I moved out of my parents' house so they wouldn't know I wanted to join the army. Only my sister's husband's brother and my best friend knew. I told them: ‘Don't tell anyone about this, because I will come home and kill you. My parents will find out later’,” says Nastia.

The secret was not kept for long. On September 4, the girl called her friend and offered to “take a ride around Odesa in the evening”. He agreed. Nastia came to him dressed in all black and with a large backpack.

“We're going to the military enlistment office. I need to clarify one issue there, and then we'll go for a walk.”

They arrived at the building, and there were already people gathered next to the bus. Nastia thanked her friend and said goodbye. When he realized what had happened, he tried to talk her out of it. But it was no use. A few days later, this guy went to Viktor and Olha to tell them that they were “bad parents”. That's how they found out.

She followed in her father's footsteps

“Love for Ukraine was sacred in my family,” says Nastia. When she competed in international competitions, she was always proud to represent Ukraine.

The girl was introduced to sports by her father when she was 3 years old. Nastia remembers being bullied in kindergarten, so she wanted to fight back. She asked her father to take her to karate. At that time, Viktor did not think about professional sports for his daughter. But the girl won awards in the competition after the competition. She practiced until she was 18 and then entered the academy. Now she is studying to become a coach by correspondence.

Nastia’s father was by her side throughout her childhood: he took her to kindergarten, school, and training, and helped her with her homework. When the girl was 13, he took off work to go to Lviv for her competition.

“My father is the most important person in the whole world for me. My father comes first, and then everyone else. I always listen to my father, I always did and always will. No matter how old I am, whether I am married or not. He is the universe for me,” says Nastia.

When, at 18, she saw her father defend the country without hesitation, she decided to join the Defense Forces herself.

“All of my family friends tell me that my father is very proud of me, immensely proud. But I understand that he is afraid for me. He worries that something will happen to me. But he probably feels really proud,” says Nastia and adds, “My dad was always the biggest motivation for me, he was then, in sports, and he is now. I look up to him.”

“My parents want to say goodbye”

“I felt that my parents were angry with me for leaving… It was probably the biggest shock for them,” says Nastia. Her mother, Olha, cried a lot. Viktor was also worried, but quickly calmed his emotions: “I'll send you a new uniform in your size. And new boots.”

When it was time to graduate from the training center, the parents wanted to see their daughter.

“Dad, don't be silly. You're on duty,” Nastia talked them out of it, but in the end, she didn't argue with them.

“I went to my commander and said: ‘Here’s the thing. My parents want to say goodbye.’ And he corrected me: ‘Never say ‘goodbye’ — they want to say ‘see you’ and wish you success,” Nastia recalls.

Viktor traveled 800 kilometers from his place of dislocation to meet his daughter before she left for the war. Olha and he bought a uniform, a bag, hygiene products, and food. They also bought a bunch of goodies, because they love to pamper their girl.

They did not dissuade their daughter from serving. And there was no point: by that time, Nastia had already taken the oath. But she recalls that at one point she wondered if this was exactly where she belonged.

“When our bus first arrived at the training ground, I saw everyone screaming and some soldiers running around. This is a training ground — you can hear explosions, even if they are training explosions. It was the first time I heard them so close. I stood there and did not understand what was happening. A military commander came and shouted: ‘Whoever changed their mind, get on the bus and go back.’ I looked at how many refused and decided: ‘No, that's it, I'll be here’,” thegirl recalls.

For her, everything was for the first time: the first time she saw a tank; the first time she entered a dugout; the first time she held a rifle. She remembers her hands shaking. “I was afraid to shoot. When I saw the tank, I was hysterical. I was sobbing and choking. It was really scary,” Nastia admits.

Over time, she just got used to it. Just like her parents got used to their daughter being in the army.

“Not long ago I went on vacation, and my mom said: ‘So, tell me how you see yourself, the girl you were then, now.’ I said: ‘Mom, honestly, if I had seen with my own eyes what I see now, I would have told myself to go home and not to fool around’.”

“Be careful and dress warmly”

Nastia Shylo, call sign Peony, serves in the Kharkiv sector in the 14th separate mechanized brigade named after Roman the Great as a medic. At first, she was in the rear, in a supply company: she measured the blood pressure of the soldiers and gave them pills. About a month later, she decided to transfer closer to the front line, to the infantry. Here she was already helping the wounded.

“In November, I was given a day off for my birthday. I remember my commander calling me and saying: ‘I have a serious conversation with you.’ I was tense, thinking I had done something wrong.

It turned out that there were not enough doctors to evacuate. He said: ‘If you are not afraid if you want to…’ I wanted to. I can't say that I knew everything, but I realized that I needed to make a few trips with the evacuation team, remember things a little bit, and I would be ready.”

From the very beginning, Peony wanted to“go to the front line, to the guys, to fight and save lives.” So she was happy to hear the news about the evacuation. Her parents felt somewhat differently.

She called her father: “Dad, here’s a thing… In short, I'm going to evacuate people. Don't tell mom, but I won't be in touch for two days.”

Her father answered calmly:“Got you. Be careful, watch your step, and dress warmly.”

Her mom found out a little later, too:“Nastia, what are you doing?”

The servicewoman explains:“We have a duty post where we stay in an evacuation vehicle when the wounded or the dead are brought to us. My guys sleep in the car. But I'm scared — I sleep in a dugout. I feel calmer there. I'd rather freeze and sleep with mice, but I know that if some drone or something else comes, I will at least have a chance to survive.

I am a very fearful person. All my life I was an atheist, and now I believe in God, in the universe, and I started wearing a cross. I get very scared sometimes. Once, the sound of an explosion was so close that I hardly slept day or night afterwards.

I was sitting in that dugout with my knees pressed to me, cold, scared, and I was praying: ‘Lord, not here, please. I have somewhere to go back to. They are waiting for me at home’.”

“My parents brought me up this way”

The war made her grow up faster. When Russia invaded Ukraine in 2014, Nastia was a child. She says she didn't really understand what was going on, but she knew it was something bad because people were dying. At the age of 18, the girl already understood what happened in February 2022. She also knew that she wanted to fight this evil.

“Now my childhood is here, with the boys,” says Peony, “When they go to the post office or the store, they always bring me some kind of candy to make me smile. I even have my favorite stuffed toy here — his name is Stepan, he's a fighting drake. I sleep with him.”

She adds:“I don't miss out on my childhood. I experience it here, no matter how serious I am during my work.”

A cat named Filia lives with Nastia in the frontline house from which she leaves for evacuation. He is very lucky to have such an owner: she pampers him with the best food and buys him toys. The servicewoman says that this cat is her lucky charm. He always greets Peony when she returns from the field, lays down in her arms, and starts purring.

“When people from other units come to us for coffee and see Filia, they say: ‘I want to be your cat too. Adopt me’,” shesays.

Nastia has had a desire to care for others since childhood — she worries about every wounded soldier. She allows them to smoke in the car, spoon-feeds them, and fulfills all their whims. She asks only one thing: “Please stay alive. Don't fall asleep”.